JOHNNY MONTROSE in: A Learning Experience
by Fenrir's Daughter
Summary: Upon discovering AJ's pornographic career, Tezz finds himself intrigued and strangely obsessed! Can the poor Canadian trust him to keep his embarrassing secret? AJxTezz, past AJxSimon and AJxVert. SQUEE. COMPLETE!
1. I Was Young and Needed the Money!

A/N: I have never written explicit sexual content beofre. I've seen it too poorly done over the years, and the fear of creating something terrible kept me from trying. But I have been in a happy, sexually fulfilling relationship for a few years now, and I figured it was time to push my personal boundaries a bit. And now that I'm twenty-one, I have access to actual porn! YAY! Truthfully, I've had the idea for AJ's old *ahem* CAREER coming back to haunt him for a while now, and different places I could slip it in, and this seemed like the most hilarious way to do it. And, well, frankly, so few stories actually use porn as a major plot point. I thought perhaps it wouldn't be what people are used to reading, in addition to it being a major excuse to write some serious smut. So here we go! Lock the door, baby, we're going to bust some furniture!

Title: Johnny Montrose in: A Learning Experience

Summary: Upon discovering AJ's pornographic career, Tezz finds himself intrigued and strangely obsessed! Can the poor Canadian trust him to keep his embarrassing secret? AJxTezz, past AJxSimon and AJxVert. SQUEE.

WARNING: MASTURBATION, VOYEURISM, HOMOSEXUALITY, ANAL SEX, and very slight angst at the beginning.

* * *

><p>The biggest surprise of AJ's life had come when Vert returned to the Yukon more than a year after he left. It had taken all of AJ's resolve not to smooch the blonde. He'd tried to move on for so long, but there was no denying it. One look was all it took, and the feeling hit him like a ton of bricks. AJ was in love.<p>

But these were feelings he would have to put aside for the time being, as saving the multiverse was more important. Never mind that there never seemed to be a good time to mention it to his golden-haired cohort, nor that Vert himself seemed to be developing some serious romantic tension with Agura. (A GIRL! He screamed inside his head, his spirit crushed) It looked more and more seriously like they would never get around to discussing just what happened that last night they were together. Yes, alcohol had been a major influence, but the tension had been building for some time. Maybe Vert could brush off the incident as if it never happened, but it had been a very emotional night for AJ and meant a lot to him.

Vert did love him, but as a friend. He would never see AJ as a lover. They could never be together because Vert did not see himself as gay.

AJ's tender heart was breaking. He felt so all alone, like he was falling through a terrible abyss without a parachute. And then he remembered: there were worse places to be. There were tough times in which he had fallen so hard and become desperate. He had done things with people that did not matter to him, things that he felt were better shared with people you cared about, and it ate away at his soul. He felt dirty and used just thinking about it. He was safely ensconced within purely platonic relationships there at the hub. He was hanging out and making friends with the Cortez brothers, Zoom, and Stanford, but could have still been working for Mrs. Robinson on the set with someone like Ian Westminster—although, now that he thought about it, the red-haired Westminster did greatly resemble Stanford, if a little taller and broader, and Stanford's eyes lacked those little flecks of gold Ian's had. For all he knew it really was Stanford's brother, and what a scandal that would be for the royal family!

He told himself it was because he was curious as to Ian Westminster's true identity, and perhaps a little to remind himself of how far he could fall and how good he had it there at the hub. He told himself it was definitely not because he was sad and lonely and had not been laid in some time. But whatever his reasons, AJ crept up to his room and pulled out a box from beneath his bed. From the box he removed a DVD. The cover showed two brawny young men in cowboy hats, one shirtless, the other in only a leather vest, and both gorgeous and muscular. The platinum blonde gave a teasing smile under his pseudonym of Johnny Montrose. The redhead, billed as Ian Westminster, did indeed resemble Stanford a great deal as he arched his back and attempted to pout seductively.

Hmm…perhaps he had better just pop it in for a quick viewing, just to get a closer look.

AJ skipped through to the deep action, where you saw who someone truly was. If anyone looked at AJ's face during the film they could see the haunted look in his eyes; they would know that, though he physically enjoyed himself, he felt guilty for doing so and wished he was with someone else. Staring into "Ian's" eyes, all he saw was desperation to be somewhere, anywhere but where he was. AJ recognized the look as that of someone who wanted to make it as a legitimate actor and had to start their way from the bottom.

'Literally, in this case,' he noted, tilting his head to the side. On screen, poor Ian bit down on his lower lip, backing hungrily against AJ as the larger man bucked into him. Both moaned loudly, groping for any skin they could get at, seeming to want to be so close they were a single entity. AJ remembered the way Ian had felt inside, how hot his skin had been, the way he blushed and begged for him for more. As he watched the screen, transfixed by his view and his memories, AJ was only barely aware of beginning to strip himself. He felt hands on his skin that he imagined were Ian's, licked his lips in anticipation, listened for the grunts and groans he knew were coming as he stroked himself.

AJ never heard the door open as he gave in to his fantasies, teasing his own nipples and balls. Asking for permission to enter someone's room was basic etiquette, but the master of magnetism had been stuck on a moon for almost ten years and these things occasionally escaped him. Though his bashfulness immediately made him wish he had remembered this time... Tezz knew he should leave, but the sight had him glued to the spot. He felt a tightness in his belly and warmth in his cheeks from the steamy encounter, and deliciously enough, he was treated not just to the heavenly view of AJ in all his glory, but of AJ having sex with another man on the television. So lovely were both sights that he could not choose between the two. When he eventually glanced back at the screen, Tezz saw a close up of the second man's face as he moaned in orgasm. His face went bright red with recognition as the fiery redhead arched his back and spurted into his lover's hand.

"Stanford?"

AJ covered himself with a blanket, his face turning an iridescent shade of pink. "Tezz, this isn't what it looks like."

"It looks like you made a sex tape with Stanford!"

"That's not Stanford," AJ told him, whispering. "They might be related, though. I don't know, man, we all used fake names."

"You made a sex tape with Stanford's brother?" Tezz hissed. He was not sure why they were whispering, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

"Sex tapes are for amateurs and celebrities, Tezz. I…was in porn."

His eyes were wide, but for a moment, Tezz was quiet. "Let me guess," he said dryly. "You were young and needed the money?"

"Yes! I was in deep to these loan sharks, see, and—hey, where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to tell Stanford his brother is a homosexual."

"Ohhhhh, NO YOU DON'T!" AJ blocked the boy's way out, his blanket be damned. His massive form between him and the door, Tezz backed away, and his eyes naturally fell to AJ's erection. He blushed deeper, looking to the side as he tripped and fell onto the bed. AJ smirked down at him. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock before entering? It's not very nice to just barge in like that."

Tezz gulped as AJ approached him. "Could you, ah, perhaps put some pants on?"

"Nope! MY room. MY right to walk around naked if I WANT to. And I WANT to, NOW."

Tezz shifted uncomfortably, eying the door. But AJ was far more athletic than he was and he knew he would never make it. He gulped. "What do you want, AJ?"

"Besides the right to walk around without pants? Oh, I dunno, I bet I could think of a few things…"

Tezz whimpered and shyly opened the top button of his shirt, the red of his cheeks darkening further.

"Tezz, you know coercion counts as rape, right?" AJ groaned. "Jeez, I thought you were supposed to be a genius. I just want you to keep this quiet. I don't want people to know about my…career." He sighed and gazed at his nervously shuffling feet. "I'm not proud of what I did, Tezz. I can't let the guys know about this. Please, don't tell anyone…please? For me? What do I need to do to get you to hush up, eh?"

"Could I perhaps borrow the disc? I found the presentation rather…intriguing."

"That's why you offered me your body!" AJ grinned, somewhat flattered. "Aw, Tezz, you're not sweet on me, are you, buddy? A romance might mess with the team dynamic. Of course, if you really were interested in a, uh, private performance I wouldn't say no…"

"You have my silence if you put clothes on, NOW!" Tezz shouted abruptly with a deep frown, his eyes shut tight, and thankfully, AJ took the opportunity to dress.

"You can look now," the Canadian chuckled. As Tezz went to leave, he grabbed his shoulder. "Hey, seriously though. This is our little secret, right?"

Tezz nodded furiously and ran like the devil was at his heels.

Once he got the other side of the door, Tezz finally remembered to breathe again. The panic slowly left him as he trudged down the hall to his laboratory in the hopes that some hard science (heheh, HARD SCIENCE…) would take his mind off of things. He attempted, through data previously gathered, to extrapolate (heheh, EXTRAPOLATE…) the current location of Zemerik. The Sark leader had gone into hiding after the Red Sentients had reemerged, occasionally providing the Battle Force 5 with valuable information. But even as he worked on such pitiably easy problems, Tezz found himself rereading the same line over again and taking in none of the data. He was unable to concentrate, returning again and again to the images of AJ bending the other man over the wood rail fence.

'Career,' the Canadian had said. The film he was watching was therefore most likely one of several. It was the master of magnetism's understanding that few participants in pornographic films went by their given names. Finding any more of AJ's work would take some digging, and did he really even want to know?

In human society, being attracted to a person of your own gender was frowned upon. Certainly in recent years, it had become more acceptable, though many still found it unusual, but being unusual did not bother Tezz. During nearly a decade of solitude on the Red Sentient Moon, he underwent puberty completely alone. Fighting constantly for his life with no other living humanoid beings in two parsecs did not leave much opportunity to sexually experiment. As much as Tezz prided himself on his vast knowledge, his familiarity with the subject of human sexuality was woefully incomplete! And since arriving in the hub he had become so focused on their mission no romantic notions had crossed his mind. He had felt no initial attraction to any of his teammates.

But now, Tezz was not so sure. Perhaps it was because he had not encountered such a situation before that he had not considered the possibility. Happening upon AJ in such a vulnerable position, moaning, panting, his muscles flexing and body out in the open… The fine sheen of sweat showing on his skin, the pink tinge of his face as his temperature rose…

Tezz shook his head, trying to steady his heartbeat. There was no denying the attraction to his teammate, but it could have simply been instinctual. This was merely his first encounter with an amorous human and perhaps it was simply a biological response. Clearly, more data was required, and soon all thoughts of tracking Zemerik left him. Without ceremony, he left for a more private quarter of the hub where he would not be disturbed.

* * *

><p>A few hours of viewing various and sundry pornography sites revealed very little to Tezz, metaphorically. He was able to determine he was likely bisexual, though he definitely was leaning more towards homosexuality, but aside from that, the Russian was left with more questions than before—chief among them, why in the multiverse would someone want to dress up like a teddy bear and molest children? There were some sick and twisted people on the internet… And still, none of what he saw was quite as titillating as what AJ had done. The solution was clear: Tezz would have to hack into the Canadian's tax records to learn what production company he had worked for. The fact that it was a blatant invasion of privacy did not vex him; his only concern was the truth.<p>

Of course, Spinner was more skilled at hacking than he was, but asking for his assistance on this matter would raise far too many uncomfortable questions. No, this was their little secret, after all; a promise made under duress was still a promise, and Tezz would not betray that promise. Tezz would have to do the job himself.

Bringing up AJ's tax records revealed he had been employed for a time by Mrs. Robinson Incorporated and later Edmonton Fantasy, a subsidiary thereof. And finally, with his membership application for the Canadian Guild of Erotic Labour, he had his pseudonym.

This Johnny Montrose had an incredibly impressive body of work for someone active for such a short time. Most of the skin flicks were available for download, too! Fascinated, he stared at the screen as the opening credits began to roll on the same film he had come across AJ watching.

JOHNNY MONTROSE and IAN WESTMINSTER in _Breaking the Bronc_

Apparently the theme for the movie was "Homosexual Cowboys have naughty fun in the wilderness!" The dialogue made Tezz snicker; the redhead AJ had been paired with really was a _terrible_ actor. But then, he was not watching for the storyline…

Spellbound, Tezz watched eagerly as the action got going.

* * *

><p>Johnny began massaging the shoulders of the muscular redhead from behind, and Ian finally relaxed a little. He shrugged off his t-shirt, revealing the creamy white skin of his pectorals in stark contrast to his well tanned forearms. All of this gorgeous physique was peppered with sparse tufts of red hair that proved the carpet matched the drapes.<p>

The expression on Ian's face was one of gentle contentedness as Johnny's strong hands moved over his skin, working every muscle. Ian bit his lip, arching his back as the platinum blonde teased his nipples. Johnny smirked predatorily and started kissing Ian's neck, his soft lips brushing over his collar bone. He nibbled a bit, then bit down a little harder, eliciting a deep moan from the ginger who reached back to grope Johnny's thigh.

Suddenly, Johnny pulled away, yanking off his own shirt. As soon as the pair was on equal footing, he embraced the redhead and held him flush against his own body, feeling his well toned abs.

"Are you sure," Johnny started, pausing to lick Ian's ear, "that you've never done this before?"

"Well, there was that time—ah!—at bible camp!"

Ian turned around to face his partner, kissing him full on the lips. They hardly bothered to close their mouths, fighting for dominance as their tongues intertwined. The redhead ran a hand through the thick, platinum blonde curls that covered Johnny's chest. "Just like a polar bear," he growled, licking the larger man's nipple and causing him to cry out in surprise. His arms snaked around the blonde's waist, hands roaming over the flexing back muscles. Johnny's skin was white as snow without a single freckle, like fine porcelain.

Johnny groped his buttocks with both hands, grinding against him as they continued to smooch. He pushed Ian further back until he was leaning against the fence that kept the sheep from escaping. Ian frowned, much to Johnny's dismay. "What?" the blonde asked.

"You took your hat off. I really like that hat."

"It got knocked off. What's the big deal?"

"Well…do you think you could, um, put it back on?"

Johnny raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Kinky!"

Ian blushed. "You look really good in that hat..."

Johnny grinned as he adjusted his newly replaced white Stetson. "Why thank yew, darlin', that's awful kind of yew ta say."

Ian chuckled at the over the top accent, pulling him in for another kiss. Johnny pushed back, grabbing the ginger's right leg and lifting it to hook around his waist. Ian was knocked off balance a little and wound up sitting on the wooden prairie fence on which they hung their shirts and jackets. Johnny growled, grinding his hips into Ian, who moaned and leaned against him. Finally, Ian could take it no longer.

"Oh, don't stop!" he begged. "I need you! Don't be such a tease!"

Johnny kissed him hungrily, grabbing onto everything he could reach. "Naughty boy," he murmured, biting Ian's lip. The redhead whimpered and reached for Johnny's belt buckle, fumbling for a moment before he finally got the damned thing undone. He lowered the zipper of the larger man's jeans and scooped out his dazzling genitalia; Johnny was a stunning ten and three quarter inches, thick enough that Ian's manly hand only just closed around it, with testicles like a pair of boiled eggs. More of the soft platinum blonde curls carpeted the area, framing a perfect set that made the redhead throb with desire.

Johnny grunted and growled, continuing to gnaw and suck at his throat; the Englishman was going to have some serious hickeys. He manhandled the redhead, not being quite as gentle about things as his partner was, wrenching off Ian's belt and yanking down his jeans and boxers. Ian yelped and leaned into it as the blonde began stroking his manhood and letting his fingers dance over his balls. Johnny spit onto his hand and moved it deeper down, probing his entrance little by little. He gently stretched the redhead, smoothly slipping in another finger, causing Ian to move his hips in rhythm with the contact, moaning and gasping.

"Ah! Yes, oh, I want you inside me, you stud!"

Johnny pulled away, taking a lubricated condom from his wallet. While he opened it and rolled it down his quivering member, Ian took the opportunity to hurriedly remove his pants the rest of the way, but he left his cowboy boots on. Likewise, as per the request, Johnny held on to his hat while he grabbed the redhead by his wrist.

Ian gave a startled yelp as he was bent forward, gripping the fence for support. He felt a hand rub around his hip and then lift, slapping his ass, and something deliciously warm rub up against him…

"Ooh, is that for me?" Ian asked in a sultry tone.

"If you still want it."

"Yes, Johnny! I want you so bad!"

Gently, he entered the young man, slowly allowing the redhead to accommodate his girth. He moved in and out, starting a slow rhythm, going a little deeper each time, trying not to let the ginger's moans drive him too wild. He groped Ian's chest and kissed the back of his neck, nibbling and murmuring sweet nothings as he went. Johnny was holding back, trying to savor the moment, but for his part, the redhead wanted more.

"So—ah!—big! Ohhhh, HARDER!"

"Like this?" Johnny asked with a sly smile. He gripped Ian's hips and thrust deeper, causing Ian to cry out, but the ginger was thoroughly enjoying himself. His cheeks were flushed and he panted and gasped as he pushed further back against the man who took him from behind. Faster and faster they moved, like cats in heat, muscles flexing in the warm sunlight. So what if they were outdoors? So what if someone could drive up at any moment? That just made it that much hotter.

Johnny grunted as he plunged harder into the ginger, reaching a hand around to stroke Ian's throbbing sex. The redhead bucked his hips, desperate for release as he was pleasured from the front and behind. He groaned and whined, spreading his legs further and backing hungrily into Johnny to allow him further entry. The platinum blonde gasped. Suddenly, Ian cried out, his body shuddering as he spilled his seed into Johnny's hand, hot and sticky and white. His wild thrashing and passionate cries finally drove his partner over the edge as their afternoon delight came to a crescendo.

"Ready or not, babe, here I come!" Johnny called out. He bucked quickly a few more times, grunting and moaning, before holding Ian's hips in place. Wave after wave of pleasure wracked through his body and he basked in the afterglow of loving someone new. A serene expression came over him, his face bright red. "Oh, babe…oh, you're a real firecracker."

* * *

><p>Leaning back in his chair and blushing, Tezz was very glad he'd had the forethought to bring lotion and tissues to his secluded spot. Things had gotten a bit…messier…than expected. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of, though now that he had his hormones under control he was suddenly terrified at the prospect of someone discovering his private adventure.<p>

There was still a lot Tezz felt he had to figure out. There was so much he did not know, so little he had to work with. Was he gay? Or bisexual, perhaps? Did humans only interest him physically, or someday would he find someone he could connect with on a deep emotional level? Earlier he had thought only of sex and now he wondered about love—but then, that was another problem for another day. Today, he would focus on sex.

Tezz grinned; in the scientific method, experimentation was key, but to make sure the results were not a fluke he would have to repeat the experiment a number of times. Quickly, he double checked the locks and began running down Johnny Montrose's selected filmography.

"Hmm…perhaps 'Switch Hitter.' That sounds interesting…"

* * *

><p>AN: I would like to say that, yes, there really is a Canadian Guild of Erotic Labour. I have ideas for more and might be able to squeeze four equally smutty chapters out of it; I wanted to try and make it funny, but knowing me, there'll definitely be more drama in there. Let me know what you think. I've been writing this for a month. I quite literally tried to post this twice already and had panic attacks both times, believing the story to be of inferior quality because of the sex. So please be gentle! It's my first time...


	2. An Indecent Proposal

A/N: Yay! More sexy time! I was working on this for a little while and I hope it's all right, but please review!

AJ: Yeah, the more reviews she gets, the harder she'll work!  
>Tezz: Mmmm, HARDER!<p>

AJ: ... What he said!

* * *

><p>Tezz panted as he writhed in AJ's passionate embrace. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to stare into the Canadian's baby blues for all eternity. He reveled in the feeling of flesh on delicious flesh, savoring the taste of AJ's sweat as he licked and suckled at his throat. The platinum blonde ran his hands up and down the Russian's body and rolled over the silken sheets so that Tezz was on top again, and he gasped with pleasure.<p>

"Ah! AJ—I…I—"

"Louder," he purred. "I want to hear you."

Tezz bit his lower lip as strong, masculine hands gripped his buttocks, and his lover bucked into his core faster and harder than before. There would be no containing it now and the ebony haired young man arched his back, moaning as he bounced on his lover and felt his muscular chest. Tezz gasped for breath as he slammed his hips down harder against the Canadian who grinned sinfully and thrust deeper. He tensed and threw his head back in ecstasy, clutching at AJ's biceps.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

><p>Tezz sat bolt upright in bed, drenched in…various fluids, including but not limited to sweat…for the sixth night in a row. These vivid dreams continued to beleaguer him, keeping him up at night. Ever since stumbling upon AJ Dalton enjoying some *ahem* private time, the master of magnetism could not stop thinking about him. It was silly, of course, that he should feel so strongly attracted to someone who so annoyed him. Things were getting to be so confusing. Of course, his newfound addiction to pornography was not exactly helping matters.<p>

AJ had been in so many films in such a short time. From the tasteless early roles in crap like _Spanking Cheerleaders 19_ (a self-explanatory title) to starring in more story driven works like _Bears On Parade_ (tough, hairy gays in prison), every frame of "Johnny Montrose" footage was pure eroticism. Every kiss, every caress, every glance at the camera had Tezz blushing and giggling like a school girl. And why should he not be so taken? It had been AJ's job to make people want him, but it frustrated the Russian to no end that he could not have this smoldering tempter of the small screen. But even if he did not deny the attraction, he knew these were not feelings he should be having for a teammate. They were avoiding each other, each one gauging the other's reaction. They had to work together to keep the multiverse safe, but if there was a falling out… There was an underlying fear of disaster that Tezz could not ignore.

He did not want to use the word 'infatuated' to describe how he felt about AJ Dalton. No; perhaps 'obsessed' would have been more accurate. The platinum blonde was energetic, sweet and bubbly like a perky teenage girl, enthusiastic in every action and high on life. Tezz had gone through so many hardships this was difficult for him to understand, and the constant cheerfulness was a source of irritation. There were times Tezz could not tolerate his presence, but his work showed another side. Just thinking that AJ had managed to smile through the entire two year ordeal and done so many things to all of those men—and a few women before that, but mostly men—sent shivers down the Russian's spine.

As awkward as it would be, however, he felt he had no choice. Today, Tezz was going to have to talk to AJ about the incident. Who knew? Perhaps he would learn a few things.

Tezz prepared to step into the Canadian's room, but stopped himself. This was what had got him into trouble before, was it not? Mentally chiding himself, he knocked loudly on the door and spoke. "AJ, may I come in? I wish to speak to you."

There was a hurried rustling sound, and in seconds the door was open.

"Yeah, dude?" he asked, allowing Tezz entrance.

AJ was fully clothed this time as he peered curiously at his thin teammate, his face the picture of perfect innocence. Despite knowing he had been with countless men and women in some of the naughtiest ways, the platinum blonde managed to put forth an image of incorruptible, wholesome purity_…that made Tezz want to lick him for hours. _He looked away from those pale blue-green eyes and tried to ignore his own dirty thoughts.

"I…wanted to apologize for, uh, interrupting you the other day," he said. "I don't want things to become awkward between us, as we must continue to work as a team."

"Hey, no harm done. It's not like you're the first guy to see me in a compromising position." AJ chuckled nervously and refused to comment on Tezz's pink-tinged cheeks out of courtesy. "You're still going to keep it a secret, though, right?"

"Of course, I promised you I would. I will not betray that trust." Suddenly, he looked guilty. "However, I must admit, I have come here with an ulterior motive."

AJ narrowed his eyes. "Mm-hmm?"

"I was, to tell the truth, strangely intrigued by the video." He sat at the desk covered with framed photographs of many other pale blondes. If he did not word his query carefully, AJ would know he had snooped through his records. "I am terribly curious about your career. I…well, you looked to me as if you were enjoying your, um, work."

"Look, like you said yesterday, I was young and needed the money. That's it."

"So, you've never had any attraction to other males? Not once?" Why did asking that make him so sad?

"Why? You got a problem with that?" he snapped. "My personal life is none of your business!"

"Please, forgive me. I did not mean to upset you!"

AJ did not want to listen, but there was a certain quality to Tezz's voice that struck him as genuine.

"I—" Tezz paused and swallowed hard. "This is difficult for me to say. I found the video you were watching _very_ interesting. I have kept to myself certain…feelings…and I thought, perhaps…"

AJ raised his eyebrows. Tezz really was turned on by that skin flick! Coming to terms with one's sexuality was not easy, and the last thing he needed right now was to get turned away like some freak. As upset as he was, he could not stay angry when his teammate was hurting like that.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I never really loved another man," AJ said. Tezz perked up at his answered question.

"Really? Who?"

AJ sighed. "Vert... God, this is embarrassing to talk about. Don't laugh, okay?"

"I assure you I do not judge you," he said, a small smile gracing his lips.

"He'd come up to visit me in the Yukon, not long after his mother…was gone," he said. "He was an emotional wreck, so hurt and angry all the time… I took it on myself to keep him from doing anything stupid. We lived together for over a month while he recovered, and we got really close. I wanted to be more than friends, but…he didn't. Dude says he's not gay. Which, okay, I get that, but then when we go out drinking a few days before he's set to go back to Handler's Corners, he starts talking about how much he's going to miss me, and he kisses me!"

Tezz was shocked, to make an understatement. Vert had never struck him as anything less than perfectly heterosexual. "Were you two…intimate?"

"Yeah. We were." AJ's bitterness shifted into a wistful expression as he recalled that starry night. "It was the only time I let a guy top me. He was clumsy after all the tequila, but he made up for it in enthusiasm. I remember him pulling my hair, whispering my name and how much he wanted me. I was already in love with him but there was no going back after that."

He looked away, tears in his eyes. "But the next day he acted like it didn't even happen! I tried to bring it up, but he just shut me down every time. He got so mad I thought he was gonna slug me! And then he said we should just be friends, and he left." He sighed again. "I tried to hate him after that. I really did. But when you guys came up to the Yukon to recruit me, it took all I had not to smooch him. Glad I didn't, too, since it turned out you guys were watching."

"That would have been incredibly awkward, yes. Though I imagine it might have forced the Captain to deal with his issues if he were seen as bi-curious. Also, think about how hilarious Agura's reaction would have been to such a situation."

"Yeah, they seem like they're getting pretty close. She would so hate me!"

"Although lately she and Stanford appear to be getting closer. I believe she may choose him in the end as someone easier to control."

"She'd definitely wear the pants in _that_ relationship."

Tezz laughed, and AJ joined in. After a moment they were quiet and their eyes met, but both looked away awkwardly and there was silence.

"Thank you," Tezz said after a bit.

AJ smiled bemusedly. "For what?"

"Just for being here. It took courage to speak of your relationship with Vert. It means quite a lot that you trust me."

"Oh, it's no big deal, eh?"

"It is to me."

AJ grinned. "Okay, so what about you? Has anyone stolen our Tezzy-wezzy's heart?"

"I, uh—" Tezz had only just stopped blushing towards the beginning of AJ's story, but now his face was a deep pink once more. "I'm not sure, I mean, perhaps, uh—it is complicated…"

"Ha! Okay, you don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to talk about. Don't worry about it, little dude." AJ reclined on the edge of the bed, looking more delectable by the second—did he have any idea what he was doing or was it merely second nature after all that time on the job? The way his soft lips wrapped around his smile, the gently increasing arch of his spine as he yawned and stretched his well muscled body was positively intoxicating.

As Agura would have said, _"Oo, baby, break me off a piece of __**that**__!"_ There was no denying AJ's sex appeal, although perhaps that was only after watching_ Slutty Librarian 4: Talk Nerdy to Me_ and most of _Bi The Way_ that it occurred to Tezz how desirable he found the platinum blonde to be. He kept telling himself it was simply a biological urge to mate based on primal instincts and that as an educated man of science he had strong enough willpower to overcome it. But with him laid out like that on the bed, not so deliciously exposed as the last time Tezz had seen him there, but still vulnerable, there was nothing more Tezz wanted than to climb into the Canadian's lap and... He held himself back. No, he would keep this professional.

"How well did they pay you?" he asked suddenly. AJ looked up in confusion.

"What?"

"When you were in pornography. Were you well paid?"

"Huh, well…" AJ squinted, remembering. "At first they cast me in a few straight films, and it was okay, but I was really strapped for cash. Gay porn pays way more, and the more you're willing to do, the more they'll pay you. In the end I got a pretty decent chunk of change socked away."

"How 'decent' are we talking here?" Tezz nearly choked when AJ replied with an ungodly number. "That's a lot!"

"Uh, yeah, thank you captain obvious."

Tezz's mind raced. Once the Blue Sentients were back in full force and the war was over, Sage would presumably return to her home world, taking most of her technology with her. But he could make a very nice laboratory with that kind of money. "AJ, do you think the company you were working for is hiring?"

"Yeah, they're always looking for new talent—wait, WHAT?" AJ's eyes were wide with shock. "Tezz, are you insane? Do you have any idea what you're saying?"

"I know it would be undignified, but it would be worth it if the money went towards the greater good of all earthbound life forms. I have no problem debasing myself if it means the advancement of science."

"Look, you've got the lab here. Why would you need funding anyway when you can do all your research here?"

"What about when Sage leaves, AJ? What laboratory will I have then? I must prepare for my future."

"By whoring yourself?" he exclaimed. "Tezz, no!"

"It would be quick and efficient—"

"And degrading!" AJ interjected. "Tezz, you have no idea what goes into all of that stuff! Half the actors are messed up in the head because they were molested as children or whatever! You have to deal with vapid, crazy, self-centered morons all day, and you're contractually obligated _fuck them!_ And what if someone you know recognizes you from one of your films?"

Tezz was somewhat startled by AJ's rant, but the last assertion was a rational concern. "That would be potentially be embarrassing, yes, although I suppose a pseudonym would help. What about masks? There are pornographic films that involve the participants wearing masks, yes?"

"Yeah, but they're really weird," AJ said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Mask play really only shows up for the whips and chains crowd. Fetish work does tend to pay more but a skinny little pretty boy like you would get dominated six ways to Sunday and flogged into submission."

"Really?" Tezz asked, and perhaps his smile was a tad too enthusiastic, because AJ gave him the strangest look just then, as if he were questioning the Russian's sanity. Tezz calmed himself, clearing his throat, but what his teammate said next nearly made him jump out of his skin.

"Are you looking for a spanking you bad, bad boy?"

"I am not!" Tezz snapped defensively, and AJ grinned because he knew the statement was a lie. "I was simply approving of the prospect of higher payment with increased plausible deniability."

"Suuuuuuure you were."

"I was! Monetary gain would be my ultimate goal. Think of the medical advancements! Of the weapons I could build! Will you supply me with your industry contacts?"

"Absolutely not, dude. You said you were stuck on a moon for ten years, eh? I'm guessing that means you're still a virgin." It was a statement, not a question, and the Russian's flustered blushing confirmed it. "Why go through all that work to corrupt you when they can get easily manipulated sluts off the street? They're not going to take someone that inexperienced."

One day, Tezz's stubborn streak would get him killed. Usually, he could think rationally enough to analyze his way to a correct course of action, being that he was an incredibly intelligent young man. But once again, he was in an unfamiliar field of study, and being so overconfident in his own genius, he unquestioningly believed he was right. How dare AJ imply that he was incorrect? Big words confused this country bumpkin, and here he was being skeptical of Tezz's judgment. Tezz's line of thinking was very much flawed, but that would not stop him. He did not have enough information, and yet he arrogantly forged ahead to prove that he was right.

This was where the trouble really began.

"Then I shall gain experience," he insisted. "You could help me. What better way to learn than from a professional?"

AJ stared blankly as it finally dawned on him: intelligence and wisdom were two very different things. Tezz may have been book smart, but he had little to no understanding of social concepts or conventions. His naïveté would lead him down the road to perdition and leave him an empty heartbroken shell, used and dirty. Even before his moment of clarity, the Canadian knew this could only end in tears, but he was wholly unprepared for the level of stupidity of what Tezz asked of him.

Before he could shout 'are you out of your goddamned mind' the alarm signaled the arrival of a storm shock. At the last moment, the Russian insisted he at least consider the possibilities but the very idea made him queasy. AJ shoved Tezz out of his room, pulled on his shock suit, and the pair was soon in the command center of the hub, ready to man their vehicles.

The battle zone that had popped up on this day was a temperate forest type climate. The air was cool and foggy, and the moon was full and high in the inky black night. As AJ rolled through in his Gear Slammer, he thought he heard something like the howling of wolves, and he shivered. Yet even in so creepy a place, he found himself glad to be there rather than the hub, for Tezz Volitov was at the hub, with his artless and dispassionate demands for carnal knowledge. Tezz, with his super logical reasoning as to why a much larger man he could hardly stand should rob him of his innocence. Tezz, with his adorable brown eyes and guileless attempts at seduction, had no idea what he was getting himself into, and AJ was morally obligated to talk him out of it.

* * *

><p>AN: Y'know, it's weird, but I feel this has the potential to be a great romance. I've never done a romance before. This'll be interesting!


	3. Friends with Benefits

A/N: Okay, this one's a lot shorter, but it felt like a good place to end that section. I've got other stuff to do with this that *GASP* actually has dialogue with characters besides Tezz and AJ! Finally, some interaction! I feel like I haven't necessarily lived up to my promises of sexyness, but that'll change soon enough. Not EVERY chapter can be pure smut. Well, I guess we'll burn that bridge when we get to it!

* * *

><p>Vert complained loudly about the claw marks on the Saber; it had been a tough zone. In addition to snarling dire wolves bigger than the Buster, there had been a nasty gaggle of bat-like humanoids that rather reminded the Cortez brothers of Dracula's brides. Even the trees themselves were out to get them, their horrid roots snatching up and restraining poor Zoom. The native flora and fauna had done in the Red Sentients, though, and in the end, the Battle Force 5 returned triumphant.<p>

AJ steeled himself for his reunion with Tezz. How resolved was the Russian? He was aware of his own limitations, of course—a smart guy could talk circles around AJ, convince him to do things he knew were bad ideas, and an especially _stubborn_ guy like Tezz would not respect AJ's opinion and would refuse to be talked out of his poor decisions. His only hope was for Tezz to chicken out.

Yeah. Like that was going to happen.

As it was, he did manage to avoid the master of magnetism until the next evening, but only because Tezz had decided to give him time to think the matter over. After returning from Zeke's, the rest of their teammates were retiring to their quarters, but Tezz had asked him to talk in private. Wearily, AJ followed him to the lab.

"I thought it a fitting location, seeing as how I am interested in…experimenting," Tezz said, and AJ noted with mild amusement he was finally getting the hang of double entendres. "Have you reconsidered my proposition? You would be greatly helping me."

AJ inhaled deeply. "I dunno, bruh, this is a really big decision. I like to think of myself as a nice guy and I don't want to hurt you."

"I understand your concern, AJ, but I am confident in your ability as a professional. I am unafraid."

"I meant emotionally, but whatever…" he muttered. "If you need the money that bad—and I'm telling you, ya don't—then patent a few inventions or something. You're a genius, Tezz. It shouldn't be that hard to invent something amazing to get rich quick. I hear those royalty checks are wicked awesome, and if you get a good interest rate the cash piles up fast."

"Duly noted," Tezz said with a smirk. "But I would like to finish exploring the possibilities of this plan before considering that option."

"Look, I don't care how 'confident' or 'unafraid' you are. I still won't do it."

"Why not?" Tezz demanded, his eyebrows raised. He was so used to detaching from his emotions that how upset AJ was barely registered to him.

"When I left the business," the Canadian said, hanging his head, "It was like waking up from a horrible nightmare. I was free. They couldn't use me like a cheap whore anymore. Doing…that… was killing me, Tezz. I promised myself I would never sink that low again. What you're asking me…" He paused, rubbing at his eye. "I'm sorry, Tezz, but I can't watch a friend go down that same path as much as I won't have sex that's totally meaningless."

Tezz flinched away, blinking several times and gasping in shock. "I…don't matter to you? I thought I could at least count you as a friend…" He shook his head, trying to clear it, but the words echoed painfully. But why? It made no sense—it was merely an experiment; he should not have felt so strongly.

"Oh, Tezz, that's not what I meant," AJ said, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. "I mean, I like you, we're friends. But you just want me for sex. It wouldn't mean anything to you. You don't love me. So it's pointless, right? I mean, you're not interested in a relationship, you can barely stand me most of the time—no, you know that's true, dude. I know I get on your nerves. Your first time should be special, Tezz, with someone important to you. I'm not that someone. I'm not the one you love."

There was that word again. He had wondered, on that night, if he would find someone to love. But though Tezz was not as socially awkward as Spinner, he still had trouble connecting with people on an emotional level. Combat formed strong bonds very quickly, and the Battle Force 5 would forever be his family; less intelligent, but family nonetheless. These were the people he was closest to. Yes, AJ annoyed him, but Tezz would never hurt him, and if anyone went after AJ the Russian would defend him with his life, just as he would for the rest of the team. Was there a way to build off of that bond?

"You okay, dude?"

After a moment, Tezz nodded.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you. I just don't want to see you get hurt. It's a tough business."

"I suppose your idea for the patents was not without merit. I…shall have to look into that."

AJ sighed with relief, the tension visibly draining from his features. "I'm so glad to hear you say that, buddy. If anything had happened to you, I would've felt totally responsible."

"But we are friends, yes?"

"Of course, Tezz!" he chirped happily.

"Could we perhaps become…friends with benefits? For a little while, at least?"

AJ froze like a deer in the headlights. What the hell was this, mess with AJ's head day? But Tezz seemed completely serious! It was always the quiet ones…

"Please, allow me to explain," he started. "I am still interested in the knowledge I sought to obtain from you, and I admit, curious as to the outcome of the experience. You may not have noticed, but I sometimes have problems properly expressing myself to people. If you could help me overcome that…"

AJ quirked his eyebrow, still unsure. "So you're saying, you want a practice relationship? One to help you to better understand how to deal with people and become a more well-adjusted person."

Tezz inwardly applauded his success. There had been some grasping at straws but he had finally finagled a positive 'maybe' out of AJ. If AJ agreed, he would let down his guard; AJ was too friendly and trusting for his own good and Tezz had him on the ropes. Once they were closer he might still be able to get the contacts out of the gullible Canadian, and he was almost guaranteed some interesting alone time with his favorite porn star! He had succeeded in manipulating AJ, just as the blonde had feared he would.

It was true that Tezz lacked experience in a lot of social situations, but he was a quick study.

AJ mulled over his options, conflicted. On the completely selfish side, here Tezz was, a blushing virgin begging to be corrupted, which he found incredibly attractive. Furthermore, the manner in which the master of magnetism had insisted he desired to 'experiment' and his quizzical nature promised some very interesting evenings at home.

On the totally morally pure side—which AJ wondered if he deserved to have considering his past—Tezz was naïve and most likely not taking emotions into consideration. What if he fell in love with AJ and the Canadian did not return his feelings? What if AJ fell in love with him? There were a million ways things could go so very wrong. And his original reasons of not exploiting Tezz still nagged at him! Though the Russian had claimed to no longer wish to go into the porn industry, it was awfully suspicious that he would go so quickly from wanting be a porn star and learn from the master to wanting to be AJ's fake boyfriend. He just knew Tezz was trying to put one over on him and planned to do something stupid.

And then, in the grey middle-ground of the argument, a thought struck him. In a way, denying Tezz the experience would be that much harder on him. Tezz was stubborn enough that if AJ refused, he would find a random stranger and get himself hurt or killed. AJ was wary about ruining what little friendship the two shared, but at the very least he was concerned for Tezz's wellbeing. Better him than some creep in an alley, right?

"AJ? Do you accept?"

"Yeah, but on my own terms."

Tezz raised an eyebrow, feigning confusion. "Please clarify."

"We take this slow, work our way up to things. If you're really serious about wanting to be in a relationship, that's the way it's gotta be." AJ snorted. "I mean, no offense, guy, but you can be pretty blunt and a lot of people are kinda put off by you jumping too far ahead. There's a rhythm to these things, steps to take; you've got to build trust for a romance to work."

Tezz weighed the unexpected answer carefully. Apparently, he thought, he was an effective liar, because AJ was actually going to try to teach him to interact with people instead of going straight to sex. Oh, well, it might come in handy some time. "That sounds reasonable. Shall we begin the experiment?"

"Experiment, huh?" AJ laughed. "Yeah, this'll be a real learning experience."

Tezz's smile faltered when the platinum blonde's fingers intertwined with his own, but when AJ kissed him his heart rate skyrocketed. AJ gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and nuzzled the Russian's nose with his own. Their lips brushed gently, and then he pushed. AJ plied his mouth tenderly at first, licking softly and suckling at his lower lip. Tezz whimpered under his sway, opening to the Canadian, pushing back with his own tongue. He reached out to run a hand through the platinum blonde curls, finally relaxing into the moment, allowing himself to just bask in the feeling, the warmth, the safety, until AJ pulled back. Dazed, the raven-haired young man allowed himself to be lead away. Panic set in as Tezz realized they were heading for his bedroom, though he mentally admonished himself; that was exactly what he wanted, was it not? Yes, it was soon, but this was all part of the plan and he had nothing to fear….right?

When the pair arrived at his door, AJ gave him a tender kiss, gently stroking the side of his face as he nibbled and licked at the tense Russian's mouth. Caught in the moment, he found his hands roaming Tezz's body, feeling his shoulders and waist, caressing his thighs and backside. The blonde had almost forgotten the thrill of kissing someone new as his nerve endings tingled with joy, and he forced himself to stop once more. This was only their first night as a couple, after all, and real or not he just was not ready to be that close to someone. With a final peck on the cheek and a quick hug, he backed off.

"Good night, Tezz," he said with a wave and a blissful smile, and started towards his own room.

Tezz found himself surprised and mildly disappointed to be abandoned after such a thorough seduction, but he was also very relieved. Perhaps he had not been as ready as he thought. Still, he mused as he undressed and climbed into bed, as much as other people confounded and annoyed him, AJ wanted to ease that burden and the lessons would be very valuable.

"Perhaps it is time," he mumbled with a yawn, "to brush up on human psychology…"

Tezz curled up under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Back in his room, AJ stared up at the ceiling. He knew it was wrong to take advantage of the willowy, raven-haired young man, but at the moment he could think of no way to weasel his way out of the arrangement that would not make things worse. Tezz was just too willful; the only point at which he would see the error of his ways was if the 'experiment' blew up in his face. The problem was that, beyond the team dynamic, he had no emotional attachment to AJ and would not really care if things went wrong.<p>

Of course, sex induced all sorts of hormones in people, including ones that were essential to creating emotional bonds. If AJ called upon his acting experience, gave the right cues… No, that would be wrong! Sure he was upset with Tezz, but was that any reason to mess with his head? Then again, if Volitov were to feel uncomfortable enough to realize this could happen with any partner, it could stop him from attempting such madness in the future, keeping him safe.

It had been too obvious to the Canadian that Tezz, who was terrible at hiding his motives due to too many years of brazen honesty, was trying to get close to him in order to get what he wanted. The poor Russian thought he was being sneaky, but AJ saw right through him and it hurt to know he thought so little of the platinum blonde's intelligence.

"He'll only learn his lesson," he murmured through the insomnia, "if he falls in love with me. It's the only way I can save him."

He lay awake for some time, worrying whether or not he made the right decision.

* * *

><p>AN: Hahahah! They both think they're manipulating the other and neither realizes they're both making fools of themselves! Nobody's on nobody's side! This can end so many ways...

Tezz: So it can't end with me getting some sugar? DAMMIT, woman, would it kill you to not constantly leave me with blue balls?

AJ: Now, Tezz, you know it isn't personal-

Tezz: *whining* Why can't I get laid? It's not fair!

Maybe next time. *WINK*


	4. This Party Blows

A/N: Ok, my mother just had a hysterectomy yesterday. She's recovering nicely, but she's still hospitalized, so I'm going to have to be spending a lot of time helping out with my younger brother and sister, possibly even my older sister's daughter and son, and _definitely_ a lot of time cleaning up after my useless alcoholic father. All of this on top of preperations for Thanksgiving, and I am SWAMPED. Fortunately, the massive amounts of stress are great for my writing, even if I have way less time to actually get some writing done. But here is another chapter of Learning Experience anyway. I warn you, it's kind of a fluffy one, even if it does have what some would consider a happy ending. What do you think, Tezz?

Tezz: JUST RERAD THE DAMN THING! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

AJ: *slurp slurp slurp* Heheh... "Happy ending," lulz.

Tezz: Don't stop now!

Yeah, that's what I thought ^_^;

* * *

><p>Tezz whimpered in protest as AJ removed his lips from the Russian's collar bone. "Oh, don't stop now! Things were just getting interesting…"<p>

"We've only been 'together' a few days, Tezz," the Canadian patiently said. "I told you, we're going to take this slow so you can get a feel for the rhythm of it. I know you think courtship is a little old fashioned but someday you'll find someone very special and you'll want things to go just right. I'm willing and I know where this is headed, so there's no pressure not to fuck it up. But generally, you've got to be able to gain a person's trust before they'll let you touch them…like _this."_

Tezz gasped, grabbing AJ's wrist. The platinum blonde squeezed gently, observing with amusement how Tezz whimpered and squirmed against his hand.

"See?" he asked, grinning wickedly. "You panicked, eh? You don't trust me yet." He chuckled at the Russian's uncomfortable expression. "It's okay to be nervous, Tezz. You're just not ready. We're not really bonded. Some people can't do it without it meaning something."

"Nonsense. It is…merely research."

AJ pouted and gave him puppy-dog eyes. "Does that mean you want me to stop groping your balls?"

"For now? Yes. The others will be expecting us and I wish to keep the details of this social experiment private."

"Heheh…privates."

AJ and Tezz had been having many long talks lately, mostly discussing how humans tended to connect on an emotional level. Tezz was unsure about a person whose job had been all about sex explaining love, but the Canadian assured him he had extensive experience dating as well. Today would be a fantastic opportunity to test how well he could behave himself in a familial situation, a setting where someone's significant other was often invited. Being polite and outgoing was crucial, as a lover would usually prefer their family approve of their chosen mate. AJ insisted that before they moved on to more physical subject matter, his student would need to be more socialized. Already the Canadian and the Russian were spending more time together than ever before, AJ assisting in the lab, getting Tezz to explain things as a method of teaching him patience. Any time someone used a colloquialism, euphemism or expression that Tezz did not comprehend, AJ would explain what it meant, and if he could, where the terminology originated. This, he claimed, would make it easier for Tezz to deal with the English-speaking population at large and would pay off in the long run. All in all, he said he was trying to emotionally prepare the genius, but Tezz doubted he had any idea what he was talking about. Still, the Russian felt compelled to continue with the experiment, driven onwards by the memory of many intense make out sessions. He thrilled at the thought of their lips meeting once more, tongues entwining, and shivered with delight to imagine those strong hands taking advantage of his vulnerable body.

Even working in the lab, AJ would find little excuses to touch him—there was always a pair of broad shoulders right next to him, an arm around him, a gentle hand brushing his ebony locks out of his eyes. And then there were those smoldering looks AJ kept giving him, as if he were unsure as to whether he would prefer to eat Tezz alive or lick him for a bit. It made him anxious every time he noticed AJ look his way; when he had only a friendly smile, still the Russian would nervously remember the hot glare leveled at him. Even though he was eager to move on to the next phase of the experiment, Tezz found himself wishing for another battle zone to tear him away from the gathering.

That spooky Night Zone had been a real lulu, what with the dire wolves and creepy fog. The team was lucky enough to make it out in one piece. Storm shock projections, however, indicated they would have at least forty-eight hours until the next battle zone. The first day was spent training, for the intrepid leader of the Battle Force 5 knew that they must always be prepared and remain constantly vigilant in the ongoing war. But Vert also knew that his team must be well-rested, fresh and ready for a fight.

And so the second day, they had a barbecue!

They had set up outdoors near the test track where a hot summer sun beat down from a clear afternoon sky. The cooler was off to the side, right next to the rickety old picnic table. The grill was closer to the garage, and by extension, the fire extinguishers—which everyone was convinced they would need since Spinner demanded to man the fire. Even if they disliked entrusting the spastic gamer with flammable objects, he did make fantastic spareribs. Armed with Nana Cortez's secret recipes, he and Sherman had contributed not only the secret sauce and ribs, but also a tray of enchiladas and, from Sherman specifically, various small desserts. Admittedly, pies were more appropriate for the summer time, but Spinner had craved his brother's famous gingerbread, and once Sherman started baking he was reluctant to stop. The result was a platter of brownies, almond crescents, gingerbread men, and of course classic chocolate chip cookies.

In the center of the test track, they had set up a volley ball net, where Agura and Zoom waged their own private war. Their laughter and good-natured trash talk lilted through the air, a pleasant background noise for everyone else. AJ, Tezz and Stanford were over at the picnic table, the royal pain talking his teammates' ears off about some incident with his insane relatives. And unusually enough, Tezz was taking it in stride, quietly listening, nodding from time to time, and politely paying attention. This struck Vert as odd, raising an eyebrow where he watched from the garage door, until he noticed that AJ was sitting right behind Stanford making funny faces to keep the Russian entertained. It was new to see them getting along—not that AJ had problems with anyone, but Tezz could have trouble tolerating company of any sort, let alone someone so energetically cheerful. It was a pleasant change to see Volitov smile and actually mean it; finally, it seemed, he was coming out of his shell.

They were like a family. Days like this were when Vert missed his father even more, knowing they could have spent such time together. There were so many years, such a gap of time between them. Was he safe out there? When the war was over, when they brought him home, could things ever be the same? Would Jack get the chance to attend his son's wedding or meet his own grandchildren?

"Hey, goldilocks!"

Vert turned abruptly; there stood Agura in those hunter green shorts that clung in all the right places, giving him that lopsided 'come-and-get-me' grin.

"You gonna stand there getting older or are you gonna play?"

"Against you? Ooooo, I'm so scared!"

Agura did not have as vitriolic a relationship with Vert as she did with Stanford, but there was always a tough sort of posturing between them. He had said she was one of the boys, and he meant it as a term of respect, even if Agura could not see it. There was no shame in not fitting societal gender roles; Vert was not one of those nutcase chauvinists who thought a woman's place was in the kitchen. The blonde liked having a young lady he could connect with on a friendly level, someone he could talk to who understood him. He did not feel self-conscious around Agura. He was comfortable around her.

With five brothers, Agura was used to being around guys. She had no problem having guy friends, no problem staying in purely platonic relationships with all of her teammates, and absolutely no problem kicking the ass of any resentful bitch who implied any different. Vert was, in parlance of the day's youth, a pretty chill bro. He was a strong leader, charismatic, friendly and warm. Most importantly, he did not seem threatened by the fact that she surpassed him in several fields, including hand to hand combat.

And volley ball, apparently—the ball nailed Vert square in the face, sending him into the dirt, and Agura suppressed a laugh. Vert offered thanks as she went to help him to his feet, somewhat embarrassed, but there were no hard feelings there. He was too in love with her for that, even if she was completely oblivious. Then again, he had always been good at hiding his feelings.

Zoom laughed at his leader's pain and went off to get some chow, all the while seriously considering locking the pair in a room to let off some steam. As the young monk perused the spread, he only half heard what Stanford was rambling on about.

"—So Stephen Immanuel became the new Lord Rhodes, and of course no one was happy about that. The man was completely starkers, an evil racist bastard. Sadistic, too—the things he did on sabbatical in Pakistan would get you tried for war crimes nowadays."

"If he was such a terrible human being, then why bother brag about it?"

"Well, Tezz, I'm not actually directly descended from Stephen Immanuel Rhodes." Stanford paused to bite the head off of a gingerbread man, savoring the spicy delight. "Damn, that's good."

"Quite tasty, yes," Tezz noted soberly as he watched AJ stick out his tongue and cross his eyes. "Sherman should bake more often."

"Anyway, the Irish civil war was going on around then, and generally hateful monster that Stevie was, he had said some pretty awful things about the Irish; not just the Catholics, either, but all of them, and the Scottish, too, and was very vocal in parliament about taking back control and keeping Ireland under British rule. Naturally, the Irish Republican Army had him assassinated, and that was when his lovable, kind-hearted younger brother, the first Stanford Isaac Rhodes, came into power."

"Mmhmm," Tezz murmured, but lost control and laughed as AJ made some rather lewd and lascivious hand gestures just behind the Englishman. Stanford frowned and turned about to see AJ miming oral sex, though the Canadian immediately stopped and smiled innocently, tucking his hands behind his back.

"You cheeky little monkey!" the ginger exclaimed. "And here I thought you were genuinely interested in my family history. I don't have to bloody take this…" He grumbled and stalked to the volley ball court, angrily spiking the ball and nailing Vert in the face a second time; it seemed the blonde just could not catch a break.

Spinner laughed and jaunted over, knowing that the ribs still had time to go. "Nice one, Dalton!" he said, demanding and receiving five. "You did that almost too well, though. Do you have experience working the corner?"

"Don't see how that's any of your business," he sniffed.

"I dunno," Spinner said with a lecherous leer. "You sure you couldn't show me what you know?" Spinner was, of course, not serious. Occasionally, he had made a game of making people uncomfortable because he found it amusing. Usually, he opted for different methods of creating awkwardness; gay chicken was not in his everyday bag of tricks and he was unprepared for the consequences. Therefore, he had a little trouble processing AJ's reaction.

"If you've got the money, sugar," he seductively purred, licking his lips, "I've got the time…"

Spinner backed away, freaked out. "Um, uh, I was kidding and we're pretty great as friends. I'm not gay—NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!" He threw his arms protectively over his head in anticipation of a beating. "Oh, God, NOT THE FACE!"

"Spin, dude. _Chill._ I was just messing with you." AJ rolled his eyes. "I'm not a homo, either. Hell, you're not even my type."

"Oh." At first, Spinner relaxed visibly, knowing for sure that he was not being flirted with. But just as suddenly, his contrary nature set in, and he was deeply offended. "Why the hell not?" he asked indignantly. "I'm fucking gorgeous!"

"Oh my god, forget how I'm not gay, let's start with how _bipolar_ you are. I don't think I could take the drama."

"Yeah, but I make up for it with a great ass! See?" He turned around so the embarrassed AJ could observe. "Now _this_ is what I'm talking about. I'm _sexy."_

"And out of your mind," AJ muttered. "C'mon, Tezz, let's get out of here."

The annoyed Russian tensed at the hand on his shoulder, abruptly aware of how ready he was to punch the elder Cortez in the face. Never had he felt such a savage lust for violence as when Spinner had pretended to flirt with AJ just now. It was irrational and frightening to think he was capable of such impulsive hatred, especially towards someone he thought of as a friend. Was this what humans called 'jealousy?' But the hand on his shoulder reminded him to remain unruffled, at least until the spike-haired geek opened his mouth again. At that point, Tezz became a victim of temporary insanity, convinced that no jury would convict him.

"Hey, where are you going?" Spinner demanded, pointing to his backside. "Look at it! Look at my ass and tell me it's pretty!"

"No, stop it!" AJ pushed Tezz further down the hall before he could charge his power glove. "Let's go, Tezz! Just ignore him!"

By the time their teammates' laughter had driven the unstable Cortez brother away, AJ got to the point where he was forced to physically restrain Tezz and drag him into his lab to calm him down. With an exasperated frown, he flicked Tezz on the nose, causing him to flinch.

"Tezz, he's gone. Stop."

"He was behaving in an inappropriate manner," Tezz asserted. "I merely sought to correct him. Violently."

"Well, it's over now and I'm sure he'll feel very silly later. You know how Spinner gets. He just wants attention." AJ sighed. "I know he can be annoying, but try not to let it get to you so much. You're bigger than him and you should know better."

The Russian pouted, crossing his arms. "There is something wrong with that boy. I am convinced he is…mentally unhinged."

"Tezz, that's not a very nice thing to say!"

"But what if it is true? You yourself referred to him as bipolar. It would make sense, after all; he panics so much more easily than the rest of the team. Perhaps he is not cut out for the fighting. I should tell Sherman to take him to Brush Hollow."

Brush Hollow Psychiatric Hospital was over the county line, just three miles from Sagan University. It was a terrible place spoken of only in whispers, holding those whose psychological issues kept them from functioning in society. This was the place where—unbeknownst to any of Vert's friends—Janet Wheeler was currently locked up. Their leader had stopped visiting his mother after the Battle Force 5 were first formed, terrified that he would be taken in himself. Even AJ, the blonde's best friend, thought Mrs. Wheeler was dead, though she languished in a padded cell, forcibly sedated and told the portal to another world she had been through and the horrific Ancient Ones beyond were but a nightmare. Unaware as he was of Janet's plight, AJ still imagined this as a worst case scenario should any member of the BF5 ever undergo a psychiatric evaluation. _This_ was the fate Tezz was wishing on Spinner Cortez: to be locked away where anyone who knew him could pretend he had never existed.

AJ frowned and flicked Tezz again.

"OW! QUIT IT!"

"Not until you stop acting like catty school girl. It's really unattractive."

"I am not—"

"Tezz, why are you so jealous? I'm with _you_ and I told you, Spin and I are just friends."

"I—" Tezz set his jaw, attempting to hide his sudden alarm, but he would not meet the Canadian's eyes. "Why did you insist you were not a homosexual? If you are such good friends with Spinner, then why hide it?"

"I've been with women, you know that. I even loved a woman once."

Tezz suppressed a pang of jealousy. "Oh? May I ask who?"

"Dolores Robinson, CEO of Mrs. Robinson Incorporated." He chuckled at Tezz's shocked expression. "Don't be so freaked. A lot of Dolly's ex-boyfriends ended up working for her."

Tezz set his jaw. "I did not know you were attracted to older women…"

His pulse rose considerably at the gentle hand that caressed his face. He was forced to gaze into those pale, blue-green eyes he was becoming so enamored with, and abruptly felt rather ashamed. AJ had been right, of course. He was distressed over something that did not matter in the grand scheme of things. Spinner would continue to be an ass but also a good friend and life would go on.

"Don't be upset," the platinum blonde murmured, attempting to quell the Russian's jealousy. He let his lips brush against the Russian's. "I don't want to fight. Can't we just forget about this?"

Tezz was quiet for a moment. "My anger is not important. I have other priorities to attend to." He put his arms around AJ's neck, leaning in for a kiss.

AJ grinned wildly as their lips met, mentally cheering his small victory on the road to making Tezz less of a jackass. He let his hands roam the Russian's shoulders and back, plying the lean muscles and eliciting a sighing moan from the young man. His hands moved down, making Tezz shudder from the contact, and finally rested on his backside. AJ lowered himself onto his knees.

Tezz murmured in surprise at the hands that unbuckled his belt, simpering uneasily as his pulsating sex was freed from its denim prison, a strong hand closing around the base and stroking gently. His whimpering grew more frantic, frightened almost, and he clamped his hands down on AJ's shoulders in astonishment. The Canadian looked up sheepishly, giving an innocent, apologetic grin like a young boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I guess I got a little carried away," he said. "I could stop if you want."

"P-please continue!" Tezz insisted. "That's—ah! That's perfect!"

That innocent grin took on a more wolfish quality, the platinum blonde's eyes glittering with equal parts mischief and desire. His left hand pulled Tezz's jeans open further, gently toying with the soft, black hair that curled around his balls and shaft. A jolt went through the Russian as he felt the first kiss he'd ever had that was not in the vicinity of his face. AJ kissed the head, a hand still gently stroking up and down the first few inches, and swirled his tongue around. He licked the underside of the shaft, kissing and suckling at the sides. At long last he took the muscle of love into his mouth. His head bobbed back and forth, his skilled lips working the shaft and bringing the Russian closer to the edge.

He moaned, rocking his hips. Never had he imagined it would be this good! AJ watched him with an amused smirk on his face, that silky smooth tongue sliding so sinfully against the skin of a genius. The Canadian paused to breathe before going back down. His mouth engulfed Tezz's manhood, then more so, and then he went even further…

Oh, _God,_ he had the entire thing in that naughty and surprisingly tight mouth of his! Tezz's hardened nipples rubbed against the fabric of his shirt as he arched his back and moaned. He could hardly stop his hips from bucking, crazed as he was; AJ actually reached up and clamped a hand over Tezz's mouth so no one would hear the absurdly loud wheezes and groans issuing from the impassioned Russian. Red in the face and flying on instinct, Tezz started suckling at AJ's fingertips.

Now, _that_ surprised the platinum blonde quite a bit. He had assumed Tezz would only observe for their first few 'lessons' rather than try to put theory to practice. Had his student been doing some extra credit research? The tightness in his loins reminded AJ he was not without his limits; that even a novice like the young man who was currently becoming acquainted with the back of his throat was capable of turning him on.

AJ was sure at that moment, from the way Tezz clutched at the Canadian's hair and pushed his head further down, that Tezz would have consented to anything. As much as he wanted to, however, he was not comfortable taking advantage of the situation beyond how far he already had. It felt great to have someone writhing under him again; _wonderful_ to see someone's face contort with pleasure. But third base was as far as he was willing to go. …Wait, no…was it second? Aw, to hell with these baseball metaphors! He was more of a hockey fan, anyway!

"Ahh-A-AJ! I—!"

That was his cue. The Canadian slowed down, teasing; he looked up at an annoyed Russian with puppy-dog eyes and playfully licked at the head of his penis.

"I was almost there! Why did you stop?"

"Etiquette!" He chirped, noting with glee the way Tezz gasped as he plunged down and sucked for an all too quick second. "You shouldn't push down on your partner's head like that. It restricts breathing and it's rude."

Tezz stared in shock, his temper flying. "You're bringing the lesson plan up at a time like this?"

AJ pulled his mouth completely away, pouting. He crossed his arms and turned away with a harrumph. In frustration, the genius finally relented.

"I apologize! I won't let it happen again! Please, don't stop!"

"Anything for you, sweetheart," AJ purred, that wolfish grin returning, "But only because you asked so nicely."

Any anger the Russian felt dissolved in a sea of bliss as AJ's mouth closed over his manhood once more. He could not keep himself from clutching at the Canadian, but managed to hold himself to running his fingers through that luxurious blonde hair. AJ rewarded him by going further down, down, taking in all the raven-haired young man had to offer like no one ever had before. No one had ever touched Tezz in such a manner before their encounter began, he mused, and he felt a sudden surge of excitement at the thought of being the first to explore his body. He suckled and licked with renewed interest, bobbing his head faster and faster until Tezz cried out in rapture. His love flowed hot and sticky into AJ's mouth and he lapped up every drop, licking the Russian clean.

Tezz leaned back against the wall, panting, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. On his face he felt an uncharacteristic smile that probably was not going away for quite some time. His eyes reopened as the last wave of his climax faded and lazily fell to AJ; still on his knees, he stared intensely up and did the last thing the Russian had expected, something that made him blush more than the fantastic blowjob he had just received.

AJ swallowed.

Tezz had no idea how to react to that, so he just reddened to a deeper shade and said nothing. He wanted to look away, to run from the room. He knew it was irrational to feel so self-conscious when he had hardly minded the feeling of AJ's wet mouth gliding over his hot manhood, but that look AJ had given him just now made his heart pound in an unfamiliar way. He was completely at a loss.

Slowly, AJ rose from the floor, leaning against the wall next to the genius. He smiled tenderly at the dazed Russian, stroking his forehead with a gentle hand. "Are you still upset?"

Tezz slowly shook his head, worried he would throw himself off balance.

"That's good. I'm glad you're feeling better." AJ gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Something important to take away from this lesson is that if you behave yourself and keep you're your lover happy, they'll keep you happy. Now, I'll give you a few minutes to get cleaned up, but then we're going back out to hang with the team, eh? No excuses."

Tezz pulled him in and kissed him hungrily, wanting to taste the mouth that had tasted his flesh. He shocked even himself with his actions. Quickly, he pulled away, mortified. Why had he done that? And why had the fact that the Canadian tasted of Tezz's sperm make him that much sexier?

"With the team, right," he muttered. What was wrong with him?

AJ smiled to himself and did some deep breathing to calm down. Folks would wonder where they were if they failed to return to the party. Oh, did he have a mint? A mint would be a good idea. It simply would not do to go back out there with cock breath! While Tezz was in the bathroom, AJ scrounged up some gum and started chewing. Soon enough, he tasted no longer of man goo but of cinnamon and felt confident enough to face his friends; they would never know what he had been up to.

* * *

><p>Spinner stared in confused shock at the surveillance monitor. Every inch of the hub was rigged with cameras just in case anything unusual occurred, and Tezz's lab was no exception. The Cortez brothers, along with Agura, had wondered where Tezz and AJ had gotten to, so while Sherman manned the grill in his adorable "Baking is the Tastiest Science!" apron, Agura had accompanied the elder Cortez to see if they were okay. And judging by what they had just viewed, they were <em>more<em> than okay.

Spinner was fascinated by a train wreck, unable to look away. It was a nightmare. It was a plague. It was a nightmare _about_ a plague. Why had he just watched that? He was not aroused in the least—this was not insecurity or denial; he was actually disgusted. He felt the sudden urge to bludgeon himself with a hammer, yet he could not tear his eyes away!

"Blackmail!" he heard himself say. "I could totally hold this over their heads."

A hand slapped sharply against the back of his head, and he flinched.

"Hey, what they do is their own business. Leave them alone, Spin!" Agura demanded, shaking a fist. "Or I'll _make_ you, got it?"

Spinner gulped and raised his hands in self defense. "Yeah, sure thing. This is me leaving the yaoi boys alone!"

Satisfied, Agura smiled and turned away.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'll be in my bunk!"

Spinner tilted his head in confusion. Why would she not return to the party when they had been having so much fun? Although, after giving it a moment's thought, Spinner realized that he occasionally fantasized about lesbians though he was a straight male. And Agura was presumably a straight female, and she had just witnessed two guys fooling around… She was hot and bothered! Something clicked in Spinner's head, and his hormones made him more daring. He liked Agura as a friend, but despite the team treating her like one of the boys she was very pretty. What was the worst that could happen?

"Hey, Agura?" he asked in a sing-song voice, grinning like a maniac. "You need any help with that?"

A wrench missed the playful hacker's skull by less than an inch. Spinner squealed in fear and ran to the safety of his brother's side.


	5. Afterglow

A/N: ALL OF THE HOMO! You know what's weird? Any time I try to do multiple punctuation marks, such as three !s in a row or a combination of !s and ?s it doesn't save on the document uploader correctly. It bugs the hell out of me. For this installment, we're pretty much jumping right into the action. I also have the next chapter finished and another on the backburner. Enjoy the lemony goodness!

* * *

><p>"I-I'm not so sure about this, Tezz…"<p>

"You said I should be more confident and learn to initiate contact, yes? Experimentation is the key to discovery."

"Yeah, but is this…safe?"

"Don't you trust me, AJ?" Tezz asked, his voice a husky whisper. AJ paled at the look of mischief in his eyes, trying to squirm away.

"M-maybe we should—eek!"

AJ froze, completely stock-still under Tezz's touch. This evening, it seemed, their roles were reversed, and AJ was the one panicked and unsure. Tezz had been so passive in these few weeks, positively meek compared even to the gentle and sweet AJ, learning readily from his 'teacher.' But the Russian was impatient and wanted to put theory to practice, deciding to convince AJ to try something new. The Canadian whimpered; his cheeks tinged with pink at the most sensual calf massage he had ever received. Slowly, he relaxed, his eyelids drooping, and the platinum blonde lay back to enjoy the feeling. This was not what he had been expecting at all, but he was far from complaining.

"How did you figure this wou—oohhhh! Would work?"

Tezz smirked. "I was researching the effects of my power glove on the human body when I stumbled upon some rather…interesting information," he said, continuing to work the muscles. "If applied correctly just above the inner ankles, a very low electric current stimulates the nervous system, increasing sensitivity in the erogenous zones. Making just the slightest touch…"

AJ gasped, biting his lower lip.

"…Quite shocking," he finished, grinning. Tezz relished the power he felt at the Canadian writhed under him. He paused to peel off his shirt.

AJ murmured and whined as the Russian's hands moved from his left calf to his right, the tingling moving up his thighs to his inflating sex. He sure was glad he had listened to Tezz and stripped completely. Even if the Canadian had felt uncomfortable at first, that unease had flown out the window as his arousal overtook him. He clutched at the sheets; his self control was faltering and if he…if…oh, wow.

"Ooohhhhhh, Tezz," he moaned. "You're such a geniusssss!" AJ groaned in pleasure, his hips moving rhythmically as his teammate continued, relentless in his assault on AJ's senses. The raven-haired young man finished with the calves, moving up to the thighs. He changed position, kneeling between the Canadian's legs and continuing to rub his tired, sore muscles. From where he worked, Tezz had the perfect view of his teammate's flexing muscles, and best of all, the delicious expression of bliss on his face. AJ was completely helpless, knowing only desire and licking his lips in a way that made Tezz's manhood ache.

"Do you want me?" he whispered in the captive Canadian's ear.

"Yesssss," AJ hissed, his face fast approaching the color of Kyburi's bosom.

"How opposed would you be," he asked, moving his ungloved hand to tease AJ's beautiful testicles, "to the pair of us fornicating?"

The platinum blonde went redder than Krylox's buttocks and glared at Tezz in annoyance. "Can you at least _try_ to be romantic about it?"

"Even now you stick to the lesson plan?" Tezz asked with a mocking grin. He noted the way AJ squirmed and moaned as he stroked the Canadian's throbbing member. "Oh, fine. 'Darling, make love to me.' Is that better?"

AJ was crazed, tackling Tezz to the bed and kissing him forcefully. He ignored the voice that said things were moving too fast, probing his teammate's mouth, eagerly going over every crevice that had become so familiar in these past three weeks. Wow, had it already been that long? But his contemplation of the time gone by was abandoned as he felt those spidery fingers fondling his balls. AJ moaned, grinding his hips against the master of magnetism, moving the focus of his lips to his ear, then his neck, and finally his collar bone.

Tezz gasped at the muscular hand that stroked his chest, running its fingers through the soft black curls. He giggled—honest to god giggled!—as AJ's thumb brushed over his nipple. Tezz had only become more excitable since the day of the barbecue. He thrilled at the memory of AJ's skilled mouth. He fumbled with his belt as AJ licked lower, letting out another giggle.

"What are you so cheery about?" AJ growled, biting down on the Russian's pectoral. Tezz groaned and arched his back; how did he always know just what to do to turn the genius on?

"Just—ah!—Just glad to see everything is going according to plan." Still he continued to stroke AJ, eagerly anticipating his union with the Canadian. Through their recent trysts, Tezz's teammate had been gentle and understanding, patiently getting Tezz to stay calm and trust him. It had been interesting to see AJ in an even more passive state, so completely at the Russian's mercy, but the impatience and aggression AJ showed now spoke not of professionalism. It made him nervous to consider that the platinum blonde may have actually had feelings for him, but at the same time Tezz found himself wanting him all the more. He saw they way AJ looked at him, the way the Canadian hungered, and knew it was he AJ wanted. It was wonderful to be desired, he decided. This was what he had been missing when he was separated from humanity. This was why he had strived to land in AJ's bed.

AJ grabbed Tezz's wrist, stopping the motion. "Are you sure you want this?" he murmured, kissing his teammate more softly, more tenderly. The legs that wrapped around his waist should have been enough of an answer from the young man who moaned beneath him, but AJ asked again. "I know I got a little carried away, but we can stop at any time. There's this concept called a 'safe word,' see, so anytime you get scared and want to stop, just say 'cupcakes.' Can you remember that?"

"Whatever I do, don't mention baked goods. Understood."

"No, Tezz, I was saying that if you want to stop—"

"The only thing I want to stop is your babbling. Do not act so prim and proper! It is frustrating when you were getting so enthusiastic!"

"Jeez, and you're supposed to be a virgin?" he remarked with a grin. The grin only widened at the expression of surprise on Tezz's face; the hand that had previously been groping his backside had moved lower. His face flushed as the strong fingers dallied at his opening, stroking and probing. Tezz's fit of flustered aggression passed and he once again demurred, bowing to AJ's years of experience and letting him take the lead.

"Do you want me?" AJ purred, his voice an ironic echo of what Tezz had said earlier.

The Russian blushed. "Yes," he murmured submissively. Those dark, intelligent eyes of his looked so strangely innocent. "I know it is cliché to say so, but please be gentle. It is my first time."

"As gentle as a lamb," he promised. He reached out for the nightstand, pulling open the drawer without looking. He did not need to see; he knew the only things in the top drawer at the moment were Trojans and a jar of Astroglide. He opened a square package and rolled the condom on effortlessly, the result of years of practice. AJ opened the jar, looking deep into Tezz's eyes for any fear or reservations and finding none. Tezz wanted this more than anything. AJ's heart skipped a beat as the slick, silicone-based goo coated his fingers; the raven-haired genius was staring at him like an eager high-school girl on prom night. AJ had worried about Tezz's first time not being special, but his concerns were assuaged by that coquettish smile and those stunning legs spreading for him. If his teammate were so excited, then he might as well enjoy himself.

Tezz inhaled sharply. AJ's lips brushed softly against his belly button, kissing his way down the Russian's abdomen and finally getting serious. He took his teammate's pulsating sex into his mouth, swirling his tongue about as before, bobbing his head in rhythm with Tezz's moans. He nibbled the underside, licking down the shaft to the balls. He felt the shudders of pleasure as he suckled at them, fitting one in his mouth, then the other, then both at once, Tezz shaking under the vacuum. AJ pulled away, spreading the young man's legs.

"Just relax," he soothed, slowly inserting one finger. It slipped in smoothly and he stroked the inside of his student, loosening him up for what he had to offer. He put in another finger, gently stretching Tezz's opening, and then a third. The Russian had his eyes shut tight, moving his hips in a slow rhythm; AJ's motions had him moaning already, and he was only just being prepared for what was to come. The third finger was removed and first two wiggled inside of him, causing Tezz to gasp and move his hips more forcefully. His member twitched, oozing slightly with desire. He was as ready as he was going get, what was taking so long?

"S-stop teasing meeee," he whined. "I'm yours, AJ! Take me, I'm yours!"

"Good things come to those who wait, my sweet," he said with a sneer. "I just want to make sure you're ready. But you have been quite patient… I suppose I should…" He paused, removing his fingers and getting into position. "…Reward that."

"D-don't make me beg!" Tezz whimpered, blushing and gripping AJ's shoulders.

The pair locked eyes. The Russian was stilled by the predatory glee that filled his teammate's expression, the joy AJ was taking in watching him squirm. Firm yet gentle hands held his hips to the bed and he was slowly breached.

Tezz gasped, not daring to move. It was a tight fit; he felt too full and a dull ache moved through his core, but nothing like the pain many first timers had described on the internet. Did he owe that to AJ's mild nature, his professional experience, or a mix of the two? But slowly the discomfort was subsiding as the Canadian moved out of him. He whimpered at the loss of contact, but he was not completely dismounted; AJ moved back in, then out, then in again. There was little force to his motion, less than there had been to his hand, but it was still very pleasant.

Indeed, it was becoming more pleasant with each tender push, as Tezz noted. The svelte young man rocked his hips, urging his partner onward. From the pink in AJ's cheeks and the look of hunger he knew the platinum blonde was holding back, but he finally relaxed as he heard Tezz's moans escaping.

And he thought their oral escapade had enchanted him! This was more than Tezz had fathomed, more pleasure than he had dared to dream, pinned and being taken by this large and lovely man. He moaned loudly, attempting to drown the noise in the blonde chest hair, moving to lick his nipple when he managed to silence himself. He could feel AJ throbbing inside of him, filling his crevice, more than he should have been able to take but so deliciously perfect, hitting just the right spots. Tezz was gasping now, arching his back to change the angle, flying on instinct, blinded by the joyous feeling of belonging to another. His cock was rubbing against the Canadian's rock hard abs, twitching and leaving trails of his oozing desire.

AJ bit his lip, gripping the younger man's buttocks as he thrust into him. He wanted, more than he had ever wanted anything, to plunge harder and deeper, but Tezz's safety was the utmost concern. They would test the Russian's limits another time, if Tezz even wanted there to be another time—and from the enthusiastic expression on his face he might be up for a second round when this was all over. AJ felt teeth scrape against his neck and tensed up, holding Tezz's hips in place and driving much harder than he should have. After a moment he regained control, but the damage was done: Tezz was groaning and spreading his legs wider, scratching his nails across the platinum blonde's back as he tried to pull him closer.

Well, at least he was unhurt, even if that reaction had his tender Canadian heart jumping into his throat. Time to turn up the heat; at this rate, he would be unable to hold on. He lifted those open hips to take in as much as they could and leaned down to be face to face with his teammate. AJ kissed him, suckling at his partners tongue, nibbling at his lower lip as he kept up the rhythm. At the increased volume of moaning he pulled away to watch Tezz, just drinking in that look of delight as the Russian was pushed over the edge.

"Ahhhh, ooooohhh, Ayyyy Jaaaaaaaaaaay, AHHH!"

"You're a natural," he murmured. "Ohhhh, Tezz…." Hearing Tezz cry out was all it took to get him there. AJ was rasping for breath, driven half crazy by the hot love that dripped down his chiseled abs and caked in his body hair. He slammed into the thin Russian, taking advantage of his narrow hips and their tight opening. Throwing back his head to howl in ecstasy, AJ was glad he had soundproofed the room. He thrust deep, reveling in the way his balls slapped against Tezz's skin as he claimed the ebony-haired young man. With a few smaller thrusts he slowed his motion, filling his exhausted partner.

As he calmed down, AJ noted with concern the look of surprise on the genius' red face. He tried to push down the panic as he closed his hand around the edge of the condom and gently pulled out.

"Tezz, are you okay? Does it hurt?"

He just blushed and looked away. "I am…unharmed," he panted. "You were exquisite."

What now? He had been so impatient for this night to arrive, but it was over. What was the point? Even with AJ's worried eyes looking down at him, Tezz felt utterly alone. He had been so happy a moment ago. Why was he suddenly so depressed? The point of these nights with AJ was to discover, but now the alleged genius was more confused than ever.

Even after all the socialization, after the physical contact, he had trouble getting used to someone caring for him. AJ was so attentive, so sweet and kind. But Tezz was only using him for the experience. He needed this to complete his knowledge, nothing more. Some might call it ethically questionable, or perhaps even abhorrent, to spurn human emotion for logic and mate without taking their partner's feelings into consideration, but he had to stay focused. He would learn what he could and move on.

'_It is merely an experiment,'_ he reminded himself. _'I must remain clinically detached.'_

"Would you like to stay the night?" AJ asked—almost hopefully, but Tezz told himself he was imagining things. The Canadian snaked an arm around his teammate, giving Tezz a reassuring squeeze. "It's a big change, eh? The end of an era."

Tezz glanced over at him; AJ had rolled off to his side and was cuddling him sweetly. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you were pure and innocent and a virgin and stuff. But now that you're active, now that hurdle's jumped, you can do _that_ whenever, with anyone who's willing." He paused, snuggling against the Russian. "It's like Sheryl Crow says, man, 'the first cut is the deepest.' It gets easier. You can go out and get some with a consenting adult, if that's what you want, or you can save yourself for someone you care about and keep it special."

Tezz desperately attempted to control the pounding in his chest. He had been calming down, but something about AJ's words got to him.

"It's a free country, I guess. You can do whatever you want."

Tezz sighed, welcoming the darkness that hid his blushing face as he reached for the light. "I…I can stay, if you are…lonesome," he grumbled, trying to mask how relieved he was at the invitation. Why did AJ have to be so understanding? It made it difficult to betray him. But there were those strong arms around him again, and those dark feelings went away. He found comfort in the Canadian's arms and slept peacefully.

* * *

><p>In the morning they parted with a kiss, Tezz sleeping in while AJ showered, dressed, and went to the garage. The pair had decided long before that the nature of their relationship was better hidden from their teammates prying eyes. If they were seen leaving AJ's room at the same time, uncomfortable questions would be asked. Soon, the large and lovely man was ready to face the world, ready to ignore how destroyed he felt inside. He was broken and used once more, a whore for anyone who asked. Sure, Tezz was his friend, but…what was he doing here? AJ knew he meant nothing to the genius, not really. He had enjoyed the night they shared, but he felt so filthy, so filled with guilt.<p>

Remembering the way Tezz writhed under him made his heart pound in his chest. It was stupid, really, knowing from the beginning that Tezz would never love him. But the Canadian had fooled around and fallen in love, like an idiotic, naive school girl who fell for the cute quarterback's lies and took him to bed. It was only about sex for Tezz. There was nothing there for him. AJ must have been out of his mind to agree to this twisted 'experiment!'

AJ shook his head, trying to push down what he knew was a stupid idea. Tezz did not love him, he mentally repeated, no matter how much he wished otherwise. He was only kidding himself when he thought he saw that look of adoration in his eyes!

But he had always been close with _Vert..._ True, their wild night of unbridled passion had not ended well, though he remembered it fondly. Vert still did not want to discuss the event, or at least had refused to speak of it the last time his Canadian friend had brought it up. However, several months had passed since then.

He knew it was ridiculous. Vert had never loved him, either, not that way. Well, he had never said he did, at least. And their golden-haired leader had known from the start how AJ felt about him. He knew he should just get over it, but it still lurked behind him, the specter of the one who got away.

"Aw, to hell with it," he mumbled making his way to the office over the garage where Vert was currently working on the taxes for Spectra Motors. For good or ill, it was time to tie up some romantic loose ends. "Vert, we need to talk."

Vert paused, staring over the rim of his reading glasses and momentarily glancing away from Zoom's W2 at his best friend of many years. He put down the form and removed the red frames, folding them up and putting them away. "Yeah, AJ? What's up?"

AJ took a deep breath. This was going to be agonizing and could potentially end their friendship, but it had to be done.

"About that night…y'know, before you came back stateside? We...were really drunk a-and things happened and I think it's time we dealt with it."

Vert turned pale, getting up to close the door. He turned back to face his Canadian friend. "I know the morning after was…awkward as hell. Yeah, that's the phrase. But I can only really remember bits and pieces and I'm not sure exactly what happened…"

"It was really confusing, eh? I liked you before that. You knew I was interested, you said we should just be friends, and then—"

"Did I force you?" Vert blurted out, suddenly hysterical. "I know how freaky I get when I booze it up and I do things I wouldn't normally—things I would _never_ do a-a-and I just, I just, every time I think about that night I feel like I did something horrible and I can't remember what." There were tears in his eyes. "I have no idea why I did that. I have no idea why _anything_ happened that night! I broke the toaster making an egg! This shit is why I quit drinking!"

AJ smirked wryly. "Never did figure out where those pineapples came from. I found the tattoo parlor, though."

"AJ…"

"No, Vert. I wanted it. I wanted you. And you were _incredible_."

The blonde blushed, looking away. "What exactly happened? I still don't remember."

AJ paused for a moment, thinking how to handle this. True, Vert was embarrassed, but he was also clearly flattered by the Canadian's assessment of his lovemaking. The relationship with Tezz was going nowhere from the start, but if he played his cards right he might be able to land the bi-curious Vert as a rebound and trade back for his true love!

He sighed fondly. "It was a while ago, I guess…but I still get these amazing dreams about it. You pulling my hair, spanking me, calling me a dirty little bitch. God, I can still feel you inside me when I close my eyes."

Vert turned a deeper shade of red, his blue eyes wide with astonishment. Things only got more uncomfortable as AJ closed in on him.

"I remember your hands all over me," AJ whispered in a husky tone, sliding a hand up Vert's t-shirt. "And the taste of your luscious cock."

Vert slapped the platinum blonde's hand away, snarling indignantly. "Dude! Pump your brakes!"

AJ sulked, backing off, glowering in his teammate's general direction without meeting his eyes. "I loved you, you know that? I still love you. Does that mean anything to you, anything at all?"

"AJ, I was wasted. We both were. That night meant nothing."

"Well it meant a lot to me!" the Canadian insisted. He wiped at his eyes, now leaking tears. "Fucking allergies," he lied.

"I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you."

"Well, whoop-de-freakin-doo, oh master of the mixed message!" he cried, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "From the way you were begging for forgiveness I thought you would take me back! You need to be a little clearer on what you mean, chief! Or better yet, watch who you hook up with, eh?"

"I know it was a mistake!" Vert snapped, forcing himself to calm down. "I know it hurts, AJ. I'm sorry. Can't we just put it behind us and be friends?"

The large and lovely young man sighed. "I don't know…"

"I didn't mean to hurt you, AJ. I would never do that if I could help it. I do love you…like a friend. A brother, even. I'm sorry, AJ, but I don't fool around with family."

"You fooled around with me _and_ my mom…"

"At least it wasn't on the same night, but there's yet another reason I stopped drinking!" he chirped. His sarcastic, overly cheerful tone made AJ chuckle, and the American smiled. "There you go, that's better. We've got to stick together if we're going to save the multiverse."

He laughed again. "Okay, you got me there."

"So…friends?"

"Friends."

"Great! So, what's new with you?"

AJ bit his lip, sheepishly looking out the window. What was a good way to phrase this?

* * *

><p>Stanford moonwalked into the kitchen, breaking down into robot moves as he wondered whether the English football team would make it to the Fifa World Cup next time around. He did not worry about the safety of Earth, not after the way the Battle Force 5 had given the Vandals such a thorough trouncing the day before. No, this was not a time for worry; something told Stanford today was going to be a great day.<p>

It seemed, in point of fact, that the blueblood was not the only one in high spirits this morning. Stanford stopped dead in his tracks and began walking forward like a normal person so he could get a better look. The most intelligent man on the team, possibly even the planet, was smiling and singing softly to himself as he buttered his toast. _Smiling and singing._ This was so rare that whenever Tezz was in a happy way, Spinner would invariably ruin it by claiming it was a sign of the apocalypse, but Stanford knew better than to tease. Or at the very least, knew better what to tease him _about._

"Whoa-ho, there, Volitov!" he exclaimed. "Did you just get laid?"

Tezz stared at him quizzically, but Stanford interrupted before he had a chance to answer.

"Don't hold back on me now, mate! I can see it in your eyes! You're in love, you are!"

Tezz went bright red, stammering his frantic reply. "I-I am certain I have no idea what you mean!"

"You _are_ in love, aren't you? Go on, then, Tezz, who's the lucky girl?"

"Your mother, jackass!"

"Did…did you just make a joke? This is serious!"

Tezz looked desperately around the room for anything that would distract the redhead. "I just want to eat my toast! Leave me alone…" He blushed further as he dissolved into panic. Was he in love? He had not considered the possibility! He was worried that AJ was falling in love with him, and all this time had not imagined he would suffer the same fate!

"What's up, guys?"

"Oh, hullo, Agura! I was just questioning on who stole our dear ickle Tezzy-wezzy's heart."

"Your query is flawed! I am not romantically involved!"

"Oh, please, with that spring in your step?" Tezz bristled, hoping he was not walking funny from being so thoroughly sexed up. "At the very least a one-night stand was involved, and come to think of it I don't recall seeing you go to your room last night…"

"Aww, lay off him, Stanford," Agura said, flattening his fauxhawk with one hand. The royal brat ran away crying as she gave Tezz a comforting smile. "Don't let him get to you, Tezz. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to."

Tezz thanked her as he headed for the lab, pondering why she had winked.

* * *

><p>AN: I would like to say for the record that AJ's not a bad person. He just makes bad decisions, like any normal human being. Also, a word of warning: the royal pain in the ass we all love to hate will be returning. I've decided that this takes place long before Gaining Faith, or possibly in an alternate timeline, or maybe this still happens in my Buffy Xover months before.

...

OKAY! So I haven't really decided anything! Cut me some slack!


	6. Ex Is NOT Short For Extreme

A/N: Hellooooo, Dolly! The plot thickens this chapter as we rejoin our story already in progress! Awkwardness, doubt and drama ensue! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

* * *

><p>"So you hit on me?" Vert angrily demanded.<p>

"Vert, bud—"

"AJ, he's trusting you. How could you betray your relationship with Tezz like that? I am _so_ ashamed to know you right now."

"It's not really a 'relationship' so much as a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing. There's no trust, just sex. Meaningless sex." AJ looked at the floor, his features haunted. "He's says it doesn't matter, that he's just 'experimenting.' I don't mean anything to him. I thought I could get him to love me, but…I just don't know anymore."

Vert pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying to suppress a migraine. The blonde had thought consoling his high school crush Grace over her boyfriend troubles with his young friend Zoom had been awkward. Comforting the six-foot-two, two hundred and sixty-five pound AJ Dalton over _his_ boyfriend troubles was infinitely worse. But as a helpful and caring friend, he knew he had to try to be understanding, even if he was angry with the Canadian.

"You said you're also doing 'practice dates' though, right?" At AJ's confirming nod, he continued. "Tezz has never been in a relationship before. The kinds of feelings you want him to have for you, those are crazy-intense when you're young and it's all so exciting and new. Yeah, lust is a big part of it. But I saw you two hanging out at the barbecue. There was some serious chemistry there."

AJ looked up hopefully. "You…you really think so?"

* * *

><p>Tezz worked in his lab and remembered the slyly grinning Agura, unnerved. She was not flirting with him; he could tell that much thanks to AJ's lessons. But the way she smirked, as if they were sharing some sort of secret, made him terribly insecure. Did she know about the previous night's escapade? Or did she merely suspect? Certainly <em>Stanford<em> had seemed sure of the Russian's reasons for joy. And had Tezz imagined it, or had Spinner sneered at him?

He shook with panic like a rat in a maze, fighting down his paranoia. How did they all know? Was he that obvious? Had he experienced a pheromone change from the night's pleasure, or walked with a limp? The genius had failed to consider that his teammates' years of social experience would allow them to notice his unusual behavior. Furthermore, Tezz had not taken into account the changes in his personality. He had so much more to smile about, more reasons to laugh besides his amusement at the misfortune of others. He thought less and less of his isolation on the red moon, less of the bleak orphanage in which he was raised, and focused more on the present. The new sensations Tezz felt as he learned the wonders of his body were not the main cause of his celebratory mood, nor the research and note taking involved in his social experiment.

AJ had so much to teach him. It amazed Tezz that a great mind such as his own could know so little. The platinum blonde was wise beyond his years, knowing both ecstasy and suffering few could dream of, yet his serenity and compassion knew no bounds.

It could not be true! His good-natured smile was skewing the data! Surely even the genius was capable of mistaking friendliness for love? Why would anyone love Tezz?

Tezz frowned. Why would anyone _not_ love him? The doubt that clouded his mind was illogical. He had never suffered from low self esteem and he was not about to start now. Of course he deserved to be loved and find happiness. But it occurred to the Russian that he did not feel the urge to go searching for anything to make him happy. In point of fact…he _was_ happy. Tezz was enjoying life more than he ever had, and it was all because of AJ.

From the data involved and his own reaction to the possibility that AJ would end the relationship, Tezz came to the jarring conclusion that made his blood run cold. Yes, he was in love, that was obvious to apparently everyone but him, but more disturbingly…Stanford had been right.

Tezz chuckled nervously, giving up on his lab work for the day. There was no way he could concentrate now, not when he was so utterly terrified. He would have to approach the subject carefully, of course, lest the result be horrific failure. This was a very sensitive matter; he could not exactly use battle strategy to segue into it. '_And that's the best way to disable Krytus. By the way, will you be my boyfriend?' _Yeah, like that would work. Although, AJ was an amiable fellow and perhaps he would appreciate the spontaneity of the statement. There was also the possibility of the element of surprise raising his chances of success. But what if AJ was _too_ surprised and became offended? What if Tezz was jumping to conclusions again? There were just too many variables.

Oh, lamentable psychology, why did you have to be such a pseudo-science, so difficult for one so logical and under-socialized to master? Humans were such terribly irrational creatures, their actions unfathomable. Tezz was a genius, it was true, but finally had he found a field in which he could not excel. Man's psyche was not for him to comprehend. There was no predicting AJ's reaction. He would simply have to be confident and move forward, despite his lack of a perfect plan. The best he could do was give up his silly whim of becoming a porn-star and come clean to AJ about his feelings.

According to the tracking beacon in his communicator, AJ was in the garage above ground. As he eagerly hurried out of the secret hidden elevator, Tezz was disappointed to find the structure apparently empty, but he heard voices coming from the office. His curiosity piqued, Tezz crept silently up the stairs and stood at the door, listening.

"Y'know, it's a shame things didn't work out between us, Vert," AJ said. "We could have been great together."

Tezz's blood ran cold. AJ had said he and the captain were intimate. Now it seemed he wished to rekindle the relationship. Now, of all times, when Tezz was ready to give the Canadian everything!

"Well, it sounds like what you have with Tezz is pretty great, and as your _friend_ I'm very happy for you. It's awesome that we've finally put all this mess behind us and can be _friends,_ just _friends."_

When AJ replied, his voice was strained, even annoyed. "Yeah. Friends," he said, his tone as icy as his homeland.

The Russian wondered perhaps if he should ponder further whether a serious relationship was a good idea before jumping into things. Clearly, AJ had the potential to be unfaithful; Tezz would have to watch him like a hawk. Putting on a face of cool indifference, Tezz knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Vert called, grateful for an interruption.

"Hello, Captain. I wondering if perhaps you had seen—Ah, AJ, there you are!"

The Canadian bashfully greeted his student, feeling rather caught.

"Anything I can do for you, Tezz?" Vert asked cheerfully.

"Oh, no, I was merely looking for this one. It is about lunch time, AJ. Would you like to accompany me to Zeke's?"

"I'll call Agura and the boys!" Vert chimed. "We can all go as _friends."_

Tezz nodded. "That would be very nice, Vert. We shall meet you there."

Tezz grabbed AJ by the hand, practically dragging him away from the relieved American. From the way he kept emphasizing the word 'friends' he could tell the captain was not a threat. But the very idea that AJ had sought him out was quite troubling.

As soon as they were out of earshot the Russian turned on him.

"I heard what you said about your affair with the captain."

AJ paled; a considerable feat if one took into account his usually pallid complexion. "How long were you at the door?"

"Long enough." Tezz glared. "Vert is very busy; he needs to focus on the mission at hand. You should not bother him with such nonsense when you know he is not interested."

"Who said he wasn't interested?"

"Did you not notice how desperate he was to rid himself of you?"

The platinum blonde snatched his hand away. "Yeah, I _noticed._ You don't have to shove it in my face."

"AJ, please forgive me. I did not mean it like that." Tezz sighed, not wanting to reveal his true feelings just yet but unsure of how to proceed. "I know how much he means to you, but you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. You keep telling me to find someone who cares about me, yet you cannot seem to follow your own advice. You deserve someone who loves you, AJ. I just want you to be happy."

The Canadian stared at him and blushed. "Tezz… That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me…"

The ebony-haired young man blushed right back. "Yes, well…"

In a perfect world, the two of them would have shared a kiss and walked off hand in hand. Sadly the world was far from perfect and Stanford chose that moment to come barreling out of the elevator from their secret underground base, laughing like a madman as he was chased away. The royal redhead locked himself inside the Reverb, making faces as Agura cussed up a blue streak.

"Stanford! You are DEAD, you hear that? The second I get my hands on you, I'm gonna rip out that fauxhawk strand by strand and shove it straight up your—"

"Hmph. Children," Tezz muttered, shaking his head. AJ chuckled and put an arm around him.

"You two keep getting so lovey-dovey and people will think you're a couple," said Spinner. If the murderous glare he received from Tezz was any indication, his joke had fallen flat. He sheepishly smiled and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, just saying!"

AJ laughed, shaking his head with a goofy smile. "Spin, old buddy, one of these days you're going to tell the wrong joke to the wrong guy and get murdered in a dark alley." He did not so much smile then as bare his teeth in a predatory manner. "Just saying."

The effect reminded Tezz and Spinner quite frighteningly of the evil alternate universe AJ the team had encountered during the last eclipse. Spinner whimpered and hopped into the Buster, seeking the familiar safety of his armored turret. Tezz blinked in surprise.

"That was a bit harsh."

"I'm feeling very sensitive today and he struck a nerve."

"Forget about him. Let's just go. The others will catch up."

Stanford followed after the pair, closely tailed by the still annoyed Agura as they left for the diner. True to form, Zoom, Vert, and the Cortez brothers were right behind them, jockeying for position across the desert floor.

When eventually they arrived at their usual hangout, they took up their usual table, placed their usual orders and turned to their usual topics of conversation. The only unusual thing that happened at first was Grace failing to live up to her name and tripping, sending her tray flying. Zoom managed to catch his girlfriend before she hit the ground, but the burger she'd been carrying to another table landed square in the middle of AJ's muscular chest, completely splattering his favorite shirt, his face and his hair with a hot combination of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and melted cheese. The platinum blonde trotted off to the men's room to take care of the mess while his friends waited for their meals, one of which—AJ's—was now free of charge.

Stanford chuckled but fell quiet at the sound of an engine cutting out. He turned to peak out the window. "Oh, no…"

"What's up?" Vert asked, alert.

"It's my brother again."

Sure enough, there was the garishly painted Aston Martin, done up in the colors of the Union Jack. Out from the driver's side door stepped a cocky bastard with a winning smile, making his way to the diner.

"Oh, bloody hell… Hullo, Simon…"

Tezz bristled. Fantastic! As if he did not have enough competition from Vert, here was someone else AJ had made love to. Just thinking about what he had seen the pair get up to in their films made him want to scream. He knew it was irrational, but just as before he found himself rationalizing murder. Tezz reigned himself in; he was in public and there were witnesses.

"Hello, there, Stanford old boy! Still in this quiet resort town, I see. Having a nice time?"

"Nice enough until you got here. Why are you back?"

"Oh just filming a pay-per-view special at a local ranch," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "Thought I'd pop in for tea, see if you were here. C'mon, Stanford, give your older, better-looking brother a hug!"

He did not wait for a positive reply, enforcing his brother's compliance, no matter how the younger royal protested. Stanford was so frazzled by his brother's sudden appearance that he did not notice Simon's failure to brag; yes, he was bragging, but not about his latest career move. Usually, he would go on at great length to anyone who would listen about whatever project he was working on and it was odd for him to just change the subject like that. No, Stanford did not notice this…but Tezz did. And he could not help but remember a certain ranch frequented by young men looking for sin. Prostitution was legal in Nevada as long as the county population was below a certain level and voted it into legislation, and Handler County fit those requirements. Miss Evangeline's Bunny Ranch was a mile outside the city limits and would be the perfect place to film a pay-per-view special of a certain nature.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" he asked, but without actually waiting to be introduced or even letting his brother out of the headlock, Simon grabbed and shook Tezz's hand. "Pleased to meet you. Simon Ian Rhodes, the second."

"Tezz Volitov." He smiled, the picture of perfect politeness. "You remind me of a description given to me by a friend. Are you perhaps acquainted with Johnny Montrose?"

Simon flinched, but not enough that anyone beside Tezz would notice.

"No," he said, letting Stanford free. "Can't say that I am. Name doesn't ring any bells."

"Please, sit with us," Tezz said courteously. "You have already met the rest of Stanford's friends?"

"Oh, yes, last time I came through town. I was on my way to a film shoot on the coast." The older royal had regained his composure, focusing on acting naturally as Grace brought his order. "Handler's Corners was on the way, so I'd stopped to see Stanners before I went to San Diego."

"Oh, so you were shooting _Bi The Shore_?"

Simon managed not to choke on his tea, but only barely. The rest of the table's occupants had clearly heard 'by the shore' and not the capitalized title of the onscreen orgy he had co-starred in with the aforementioned Johnny Montrose. Who was this misguided fan of his and how could Simon shut him up?

"Yes, there were many chase sequences shot on the old coast roads," he said, recovering. "Lots of gorgeous ocean vistas. Brilliantly done for something so low budget."

"And now you'll be on a ranch, you say? How fascinating. Is this film a western? Will you be breaking any broncs?"

"It's a love story, actually, but there will be some elements of the classic western." The gay cowboy reference cemented it; this guy was definitely fucking with him. Simon's smile was seriously strained as he tried to remain calm, he and the Russian glaring across the table at each other.

Suddenly, Tezz's eyes took on a more smug and malicious glint and his polite smile broadened into a grin.

"AJ, there you are. Come, meet Stanford's brother."

Simon turned to see who the raven-haired young man was talking to and his heart jumped into his throat. There stood a perfectly porcelain-skinned, platinum blonde, well-muscled Adonis sparkling under the fluorescent lights like a gay vampire out of a watered down young adult romance novel. No—he was not sparkling; he was wet and glistening. His white shirt was completely soaked, clinging to his chiseled physique, his hardened nipples poking at the fabric.

Simon paled with recognition.

_Simon relaxed the arch of his back, the screaming orgasm fading. He continued to moan softly as 'Johnny' pulled out of him, pumping his quivering member to climax onto Simon's chest._

_The director on this one was a real creep, always looking for excuses to touch Simon most people would find inappropriate, poking through his dressing room and spying while he showered, but Simon almost did not mind. This was AJ's last picture as Johnny Montrose; officially, he was 'on hiatus' but the redhead doubted he would ever be back. This was his last chance to be with his white marble Adonis, his perfectly sculpted god, without having to admit to some very uncomfortable truths. It would be scandal if he were ever caught at his 'career' but at least he could make the excuse that he was only gay for pay and struggling to make it in legitimate film. If he came out…well, there was a reason his parents would not speak to his older sister._

_Simon—or 'Ian' as he was known when he was working—moaned as if he enjoyed getting spooged on like a wanton whore until the creepy director finally cried "Cut!"_

_He knew AJ was marketed as gay for pay—the unattainable for any actual homosexual, fulfilling the fantasy of seducing a straight male but only in it for the money. But there was something about him that set Simon off. He claimed to be completely straight, but the fog of his denial was lifting; at the very least he was bisexual and coming to terms with it._

"_I'm gonna hit the shower," AJ said, smiling in that gentle, apologetic way that drove Simon crazy. "You coming?"_

"_You wore me out, mate. I think I need to lay here for a tick."_

"_Dude, if you leave it too long it'll solidify in your chest hair. You know how hard that is to clean out?"_

"_I don't see you offering to lick me clean," the ginger joked._

_It was only a joke; of course Simon did not mean it. Which was why he was so surprised when AJ pushed him back onto the bed. The Englishman yelped at the silky tongue that traced the lines of his sculpted pectorals and abs. His breath hitched at the kissing and suckling and he ran his fingers through gorgeous, platinum blonde hair._

"_Hey!" the director cried. "Hey, are you getting this?"_

_Simon moved and whimpered, his exposed form betraying his renewed interest. It was going to be a long day on the set._

Simon's face went from ghost white to candy apple red. "AJ? What are you doing in America?"

"Simon! Holy crap, it's been, what—" The Canadian paused, thinking on how long he had been with the Battle Force 5. "—Almost a year?"

"You two know each other?" Damn him for a demonic wretch but his polite smile never once faltered. Tezz had learned well from AJ; some would say _too_ well.

"Yeah, we met on the set—"

"Of a schlocky shoot 'em up!" Simon interrupted. He forced himself to grin and waited until AJ nodded to continue. Thank goodness he was cooperating. "My character was trying to go straight—I mean, give up his life of crime! But the people he'd been working for kidnapped his sister and he has to murder them all as he tries to track her down. We filmed a few scenes at the lodge. Right, AJ?"

"That's right," AJ said, going along with the lie. He had no idea why he had blurted out that 'on the set' comment but thankfully the Englishman had been able to improvise. No one would know about his career or Simon's; neither wanted that secret exposed. They could just relax and have a nice quiet lunch.

"Whoa, check out the cougar!"

At Spinner's comment the eyes of every guy at the table automatically looked to the door. You could have knocked the platinum blonde over with a feather for what he saw.

In strutted an older woman with the kind of confident smirk that comes from decades of knowing exactly how physically attractive you are. She was built like a woman should be, curvy like Marilyn Monroe with what a crass hillbilly might refer to as 'breeding hips.' The jiggle that accompanied her steps informed those who gazed intently upon her that not only were her insanely perfect breasts real, but she was not wearing a bra. From her pretty face, the diner patrons guessed she was thirty-five or perhaps a young looking forty, but AJ knew she had just turned fifty-one.

"Simon, darling, I asked you to wait for me," she said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She leaned down to kiss the redhead on the cheek with one hand on Sherman's shoulder for support, purposefully pushing out her cleavage with a sinful smile AJ knew all too well. She winked at the younger Cortez. "Hey there, handsome," she said, handing him a business card.

"Boss, the production is fine as is!" Simon cried indignantly. "We don't need anyone else!"

"The company's always looking for fresh…talent." She bit her lower lip and raised an eyebrow, looking Sherman up and down like a piece of meat.

Sherman tentatively accepted the card, hoping she would get bored and pick someone else to objectify. As soon as their hands were no longer touching, she moved on to giggling coquettishly, playing with AJ's platinum blonde curls and going on about how nice it was to have her 'two favorite boy toys' in the same room again, whatever _that_ was supposed to mean. Curious, the younger Cortez read the card and blushed, looking away uncomfortably. When he saw how embarrassed his brother looked, Spinner took the business card to read and, shocked at its print, discreetly shoved it in his pocket. Informing the party that their new dinner guest, Dolores Robinson of Mrs. Robinson, Inc., was the executive producer of pornographic films and other fine erotica would be the right thing to do. However, it would also be impolite in present company, as from the look on Simon and AJ's faces it would result in extreme mortification.

The ravenous older woman sat in AJ's lap, apparently ignorant of all the dirty looks she received or just not caring. "AJ, honey, it's been forever and a day! How are you?"

"Oh, same old same old," he said, trying to play it cool. Of all the days for his ex to show up, and with one of his former costars! "Just catching up with Simon, hanging out with some friends; the usual. How about you, Mrs. Robinson?"

She laughed and her next words were spoken completely shamelessly. "We've made love, AJ. I think you're allowed to call me Dolly."

* * *

><p>AN: Did anyone else just here the old-fashioned soap opera dramatic organ note? Cuz I did. This is going to be so good!


	7. The Honeymoon is Over

A/N: I still have one chapter left to go, but I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone who's been kind enough to review. **InvaderLuver, Kgirl1, HollowedOut,** you guys are the best! I really appreciate the love, even from those who left unsigned reviews like the anonymous **O hai thar friend** and **Bf5fan,** whoever those masked men are! I would also like to say...that it's not because I don't have inspiration that I don't post this all at once. It's that A) I want to make sure it's awesometastically fantabulous before I jump the gun and B) that I actually get reviews for each chapter because I am an attention whore. THERE! I admitted it! First step to recovery is admitting you have a problem! READ AND REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! Refuse and I will write a My Little Pony crossover! Which I might do anyway, come to think of it! Friendship Is Magic is pretty awesome and Tezz as a pegasus would be adorable!

AJ: *leers* would he be hung like a horse?  
>Tezz: SHUT UP~! You are embarassing me!<p>

What do you think, my friends? Would that be cracktastic or what? I can see it now... Vert and the Cortez bros as candy-colored Earth Ponies, Agura as a Zebra, Stanford the magical Unicorn, AJ as a Moose and Zoom as a Dragon! And if Ponies like Fluttershy or Applejack wound up on Earth, they'd be transformed into normal girls because of the time-space anomaly that brought them through in the first place. Well, Fluttershy wouldn't be a normal girl; she's a pegasus so she'd actually be an Angel or something as opposed to plain vanilla Human, but I'll think about it. I dunno. I'm bored. I also have a celebrity cameo in the works for a Spinner & Sherman story I've just finished and a series of ideas for cute fluffy oneshots involving family and stuff, and even an eventual appearance by Dracula himself in my Buffy crossover! I'll do whatever I can. Thank you again for reviewing, and Merry Christmas! Also, read **KittyMayhem's** new mpreg story, **Misadventures in Lost Alien Tech**! It's AWESOME~!

AJ: Onward to drama!  
>Tezz: Drama, ho!<br>AJ: BITCH, WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

**EDIT:** The songs used at the end of the chapter are old school country. They are "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams and "Crazy" by Patsy Cline. Whoops!

* * *

><p>Stanford inhaled his cola, coughing and sputtering, recovering only when Agura slapped him hard on the back.<p>

"Oh, honey, are you okay?" the cougar asked, tenderly stroking the younger royal's face. "Look at you, little cutie-you're like a little Simon; smaller, sweeter, more innocent... I could just eat you up."

"You keep your mitts off of him!" Simon angrily demanded. "He's far too young for you!"

Vert could see the situation was deteriorating fast and chose that moment to try to change the subject. He could not have realized this would make the evening more awkward for everyone involved, but he was only human and mistakes were inevitable.

"So, Mrs. R, you work in movies. Were you ever in any movies yourself?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. You might remember me from the Bobby Robinson classic, _'Lesbian Vampires of the Yukon,'"_ she said, grinning at their blank stares. "No? Are you perhaps familiar with the _'Spanking Cheerleaders'_ franchise, then? I was in parts one through six."

"Those sound rather like pornography," Tezz muttered darkly. He wanted nothing more than to shove the aging harlot out of AJ's lap and take her place, but he pushed his temper down. He would have to settle for being an immature asshole and trying to ruin everyone's evening out of spite. This was not a conscious decision, of course; had Tezz been thinking clearly he would have excused himself and went back to the hub, feigning sickness, so as not to further upset AJ. But no matter how logical he thought himself to be, emotion is a cruel and irrational master and there seemed little doubt in that moment that Tezz was indeed its slave.

AJ and Simon gave the Russian pointed looks that essentially translated to 'dude, shut up!' But the master of magnetism ignored them.

Of this animosity, Dolly outwardly took no notice. But on the inside, she harrumphed at his bullying, not giving a single fuck. She had realized decades before that haters would always hate and that it was far more interesting to provoke and shock them than to feel bad about herself because society told her she was 'immoral.' So she enjoyed sex, so what? There was nothing wrong with that. Pretending to be something you are not, now, _that_ was wrong, but she had never once been guilty of that. The truth was what she lived by, and the truth was how she answered.

"Oh, they are pornography," she replied, still grinning predatorily. "I was in skin flicks from 1979 to 1987. I even married my favorite director and inherited the production company when he died."

Stanford rounded on his brother. "Wait a tick, you called her boss!"

"Stanford, please lower your voice. People are staring…"

"I'm phoning Mother!" Stanford laughed triumphantly. "Wait until she hears her oldest son is in porn!"

"NO!" Simon leapt from the booth, chasing the younger royal out the door. "Stanford, please! The shock will kill her!"

Tezz smirked; one down, one to go. Now if only he could rid himself of the old hag, he would be set.

"If everything's not just so, poor Simon goes right to pieces," Mrs. Robinson said, shaking her head. Finally, she slid into the booth proper, putting an arm around Agura and whispering conspiratorially. "You seem like a girl who's got her act together, though. So confident and strong… Has anyone ever told you you've got the loveliest eyes?"

The huntress abruptly left the table, claiming she wanted to be sure the brothers Rhodes did not kill each other. Mrs. Robinson then proceeded to flirt with an equally creeped-out Grace. Once the frightened waitress scurried away, Tezz leveled his gaze at the older woman and sneered.

"Not too picky, are you?"

"I can't help myself, sweetie, everyone here is so attractive," she said, her voice sultry and amused. "Yourself included. We could have a lot of fun, you and I."

"My standards are too high," he said, turning his nose up.

"Meh. I'm sure I could still count on my dear AJ," she said. Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "I really missed you, you know…"

Tezz twitched.

The large and lovely Canadian wrapped both arms around Tezz to restrain him; that single twitch was the only warning AJ had before the alleged genius attempted to launch himself across the table, brandishing a steak knife. He screamed in his native Russian, his mouth moving faster as his voice rose over the sirens. The ebony haired young man was forcibly dragged out the door and away from the astonished Battle Force 5, now forming a protective circle around Mrs. Robinson.

"Tezz, chill! Stop it!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" he snapped, thrashing wildly.

He fought valiantly as he was slung underneath one of AJ's arms like a yappy little dog, but there was no way, even as crazed as he was, that Tezz could escape AJ's iron grip.

"Let me go!" the Russian further demanded. "How dare she? I will _kill_ that slutty old hag for pawing at you!"

"Oh, really?"

Sheriff Johnson pulled out his third pair of handcuffs, already having arrested Stanford and Simon after breaking up their fight. Both brothers Rhodes, battered and bruised, sat in the back of the police cruiser refusing to look at each other. The sheriff had more than filled his quota, but this kid was asking for it; it was his duty to take any threats seriously in order to keep the peace.

"Care to make a formal statement of that, Mr. Volitov?"

"If that bitch puts her hands on AJ again—"

"Tezz, shut up!" AJ slapped his captive upside the head, causing Tezz to yelp. "Don't listen to him, sheriff. There was a disagreement with my ex, tempers got a little hot, but everything's fine."

The disheveled widow Robinson emerged from the door of Zeke's diner, showing truth to the adage that hell had no fury like a woman scorned. "That son of a bitch tried to stab me!"

"Is that so? Volitov, you're under arrest for assault with a deadly weapon. You have the right to remain silent."

AJ stood dumbstruck and disappointed as Tezz was cuffed and shoved in next to Stanford. The sheriff radioed for backup to take them in while he interviewed the customers at the diner.

* * *

><p>After some begging on AJ's part, Mrs. Robinson had finally relented and dropped the charges against Tezz despite the Canadian's decline of one last roll in the hay. Likewise the cougar had sweet-talked both Simon and Stanford into a tentative reconciliation. As Simon had come out the worst from their fist fight, he dropped the assault charges against Stanford in exchange for his silence about his career, while Stanford dropped his assault charges against Simon just to be nice and get him to leave. Tezz and the Rhodes brothers got away with one count each of being a public nuisance, paid their fines, and went back to business as usual. Simon returned to continue filming at Miss Evangeline's Bunny Ranch, and Tezz and Stanford went home to the hub.<p>

AJ Dalton was not a happy camper. Thankfully only Vert had asked how he had come to be acquainted with a porn producer, and at least he had backed off the topic when the Canadian said to. But AJ could see the curiosity and judgment sharing equal time on his friends faces. They did not know, they had no proof, but they could guess well enough. He was tainted to them; disgusting. It seemed to him they were only pretending to be more interested in the violent altercation between Stanford and Simon, and not how AJ really knew Mrs. Robinson.

The Canadian seethed as he remembered how Spinner had related Tezz's first line of questioning. The wording was too obvious; he had tried to bait Simon from the start and it was only by some miracle that the two had not fought. He could have looked past it if they had, knowing how obnoxious Simon could be.

But Tezz losing his temper with Mrs. Robinson was unforgivable. Yes, the lady was a tramp, but she meant no harm by it. She had grown accustomed to frequent sex in her youth and even claimed it was what kept her so young. As long as she only went after consenting adults and used protection, what was the problem? She was aggressive but she never led anyone on. A lot of people disliked Mrs. Robinson but she and AJ remained friends.

The Russian should have been able to trust AJ not to go for it. Yes, AJ understood why Tezz would be so jealous and upset, but he was not happy about it and he certainly did not approve of his actions.

The Canadian stalked ahead of Tezz and Stanford as all three exited the Gear Slammer, having ridden home in silence after leaving the county jail. AJ had not smiled once, glowering ahead at the open road and cranking the volume on the local country music station when Tezz had tried to speak. For someone who was almost never less than totally stoked, this was not only unusual but incredibly disturbing.

As soon as they got to the garage, Stanford got into the Reverb and drove off, needing some time alone to relax. This left Tezz and AJ alone together through the elevator ride to the heart of the hub, and even then the Canadian would not deign to look at Tezz. AJ was in a seriously bad mood. He was a very sweet and understanding person with Mr. Rogers' levels of kindness and patience, but even he had his limits, and the Russian had broken them.

"AJ, please just listen to me," Tezz begged. "I know I overreacted to her advances—"

"You crossed a line, Tezz. Mrs. R and I parted ways on good terms and she's helped me out a lot. She didn't deserve to be treated like that."

The Russian frowned. "Bah! Even now you take that hag's side, when she was nearly ready to _molest_ your friends!"

"She was only offering! I get why you're jealous but that's no reason to try to fucking stab someone! If everyone says 'no' she moves on!"

"She should move on to people her own age! How you came to love such an old _slut_ I will never understand."

"Don't you talk about her like that!"

"I imagine that's why you broke up!" He sneered, pressing further. "The cock-hungry whore could not keep her lust in check and fucked someone else! Am I correct?"

AJ gasped in shock, enraged, but closed his mouth before he could say something he would regret. The platinum blonde turned away with a scowl, shaking his head as he attempted to abandon Tezz. The master of all things electromagnetic would have none of that, grabbing AJ's wrist before he could storm off.

Most of the BF5 had sensed a storm brewing between the two and found other places to be, but the Cortez brothers had not wanted to leave Sage alone while two of her warriors clashed. They kept her company, working in the lab and trying to distract themselves from the argument, but every so often their shouts echoed through the hub. The brothers Cortez were unpleasantly reminded of the years before they were sent to live with their grandmother; they were keeping quiet and ignoring the violence, as if Daddy had just slapped Mommy at the dinner table and everyone else was still trying to eat in peace.

"You didn't have to prod at her and Simon! Simon and I don't want anyone to know—"

"About you and him?"

"Stop being such a jealous asshole! We had a _professional_ relationship!"

"Oh, please, I saw the way he was looking at you!" Tezz growled. "The man was pitching a tent for half the conversation."

"We were only friends—"

"Friends who fucked on camera!"

AJ looked into Tezz's eyes, looking for any sign he did not mean it. But there it was, the disgust and the hatred the Russian felt for AJ, the same way the Canadian felt about himself. "So that's what this is about." He shook his head, sniffling slightly. "I knew you'd never be able to forgive my past. You think I don't regret it? You think I wanted things to be this way? I was trapped! I needed the money and it was fast and easy and got the creditors off my back!" Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "I was trying to move on. Things were getting better. I just wanted you to love me," AJ whined sadly, turning away from him. "I should have known you never could."

Tezz tried to stop him again as he went off, but the platinum blonde backhanded him across the face, sending him to the ground. Tezz put a hand over his red cheek in alarm, his eyes wide with shock and confusion.

"AJ, where are you going? AJ!" The lean young man's previous rage was swiftly fading into fear. "You said you would be with me!"

"Not anymore." AJ had programmed a battle key the night before, anticipating the need for a hasty exit. He grabbed it and headed for the Gear Slammer.

"AJ, please don't go! I'm sorry! I was wrong, please—"

"I'm going home to Canada to forget this sick 'experiment' ever happened. Don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even _look_ at me," he growled, narrowing his eyes. "We're done. It's over."

Tezz reached out to try and grab his wrist again, but his grip was easily shaken off, his hand slapped away. Tezz watched the Gear Slammer speed to the exit and fell to his knees, defeated.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hear that lonesome whippoorwill<br>He sounds too blue to fly  
>The midnight train is whining low<br>I'm so lonesome I could cry**_

It had been over a day since Tezz had gotten out of jail and according to the Cortez brothers he and AJ had had one hell of a blow up. From the way neither had been around, Vert figured there were two possibilities, the first of which being that both were avoiding each other and the rest of team. Since Tezz was not in the lab or anywhere else and from tracking beacons saying they were in the same room, the leader of the Battle Force 5 figured they had gone for option two and decided to have lots of make-up sex. Over thirty-six hours had passed since the time of the argument, and the blonde figured it was safe to check on them without being scarred for life.

Gently he knocked on the door. "AJ? Tezz? You guys in there?"

He heard only a muffled curse he could not quite make out under the depressed crooning of Hank Williams and wondered if he should perhaps leave. Tentatively he knocked again.

_**I've never seen a night so long  
>When time goes crawling by<br>The moon just went behind the clouds  
>To hide its face and cry<strong>_

"You decent? I…I could come back later, I guess. Um. Well. You guys have fun."

Just as he was about to turn away, the door opened, and Vert walked in.

Tezz lay curled up on AJ's bed and looked as if he had not showered or even slept since being arrested. He was wearing the same clothes, still with the pizza stain from when he had tried to jump over the table. His hair was greasy and matted, he had a layer of stubble coming in, and his eyes were red.

"What?" he asked unpleasantly.

"I, umm." Vert sniffed; Volitov had definitely been drinking. "I just came to see how you and AJ were doing. No one's seen either of you for a while and we were worried. Is everything okay?"

_**Did you ever see a robin weep  
>When leaves begin to die<br>Like me he's lost the will to live  
>I'm so lonesome I could cry<strong>_

Tezz rolled over so he would not have to look at the captain. "No."

"What happened?" Vert's eyes moved to the end table. "Is that AJ's communicator?"

"He left it," Tezz said sadly and hiccupped. "He said he did not want to be bothered with…with me…"

"So he's a little upset, he'll get over it."

_**The silence of a falling star  
>Lights up a purple sky<br>And as I wonder where you are  
>I'm so lonesome I could cry<strong>_

Tezz shakily sat up and looked at Vert, the picture of misery. He had stayed in AJ's room because it still smelled like the Canadian. He could cuddle the big, fluffy pillows and pretend AJ was still in his arms. There were even the 'special' videos under the bed, in case he could no longer take the loneliness, though he had yet to fall that far. No, the most he had dipped into was AJ's country music selection, which in retrospect was probably a mistake as the depressing lyrics and gloomy melodies just made him want to kill himself. Would that not serve AJ right for abandoning him? Returning to the compound to find his lover dead in the bed they had shared. Only once had they shared it, yes, and technically at the time they were 'friends with benefits' rather than lovers… That thought only served to make Tezz even more suicidal, and the man of science burst into tears.

Vert rolled his eyes; this was probably going to involve talking about feelings, something he felt very uncomfortable doing. But Tezz and AJ were both his friends and the sooner they sorted this mess out the better. The blonde sat down next to Tezz and brushed the hair out of the younger man's face. "Now, tell me. What happened?"

"AJ went back to Canada." He looked away. "It is my fault."

"Tezz, don't think that. Emotions run high and people get angry, it happens. "

"No, Vert. I instigated. I knew about AJ working for Mrs. Robinson and about all the movies Simon was in. I used it to start the fight."

"What? Why?" And more importantly, why had AJ never told Vert, his best friend, about working in porn?

Tezz took in a shuddering breath, his voice cracking. "Because I'm a jealous bastard!" His inhibitions lowered from alcohol on an empty stomach, he told Vert everything; discovering AJ's career, the start of their casual relationship, AJ giving the Russian so many chances to calm down and be rational while Tezz seethed with jealousy over Spinner's silly remarks, over the films made with Simon, over the Canadian's professed love for both Vert and Mrs. Robinson. AJ had been so sweet and understanding and Tezz had never trusted him or given him the love he deserved. Now the platinum blonde was gone, and one thing was very clear to Vert.

"You fucked up big time," he said, nodding matter-of-factly.

"No, really, I never would have noticed that on my own! Your power of observation is quite keen! You are a genius, Captain!"

The blonde grinned; snarling sarcasm was a good sign that he still had the will to fight. "Well, Tezz, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. You know you've fucked up your social life. The question is—and I want you to think about this real hard, buddy—is laying in the fetal position and feeling sorry for yourself going to help you solve your problems?"

Tezz sighed, his anger fading. "No…"

"Do you love him?"

Fresh tears rolled down the raven haired young man's face. "Yes! More than life itself."

"Well, normally I'd tell you to go after him," Vert said dryly. "But I think you better sober up first."

_**Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely  
>I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue<br>I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted  
>And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new<strong>_

Vert shook his head and frowned. "All these years and I still don't understand why he listens to this stuff. These songs just make me wanna kill myself."

Tezz allowed himself a small chuckle as Vert left AJ's room. The captain was right, of course. Moping would not bring his love back…his love. Yes, Tezz loved the Canadian. Now if only he could make AJ realize that.

Tezz did his best thinking sober, as Vert had already pointed out, so his first order of business was a shower and shave, clean clothes, and a light breakfast. After that he went to the lab to go over all of his notes on the social experiment, drinking more coffee than was strictly necessary as he gathered all the data he required. He had to be sure his plan was absolutely flawless. Thankfully, if AJ was at his lodge—which he likely was; if he were upset he would want to be alone for a few days—then there were fewer variable details to consider. The lodge was on a mountain, far from town, secluded deep in the wilderness; there would be no foreseeable exes coming to flirt in the middle of their conversation, no friends making snide jokes…no one to hear Tezz scream if things went wrong and AJ decided to kill him…

'_This is yet another reason the plan must be flawless.'_

He would gather some supplies in town before heading out, giving him more time for the alcohol to further vacate his system. Just to be safe, he even had Stanford drive him to the shops, only giving minimal answers to the still bruised royal when he inquired for gossip.

"C'mon, at least tell me what all that screaming was about! Please?"

"I called his ex-girlfriend a whore."

"Well, there had to be more to it than that. Details, man!"

"Shut up, Stanford."

"Oh, you're no fun."

Leaving him behind, Tezz stepped into the glaring sunlight at the intersection of Center Road and Totem Avenue, the heart of the neighborhood called Totem Corners. Apparently, when the white settlers killed off all the natives, there had been a huge totem pole right where the avenue began, thus the name. The totem pole was kept there to this very day, and a tradition had begun in the 1970s that businesses in the neighborhood be named after animals. There was Coyote Comics, Dragon's Wing Gaming, Jackalope Sports, and Wise Raven Occult Books & Supplies; these were the four core shops, right on the intersection. But right now, the shops Tezz needed to get to were a little ways down Totem Ave: Lucky Panda Chinese, which was gaudily decorated and typically full of poor college students; Honeybee Sweets Unlimited, which was brightly colored and frequented by children and the elderly; and The One-Horned Stag, which was a shop in just about the only dark alley in Handler's Corners and right across from a night club.

Curious teenagers were frequently kicked out of The One-Horned Stag for being too young; older gentlemen in hats and sunglasses strolled in stealthily when they thought no one was looking. But for something so many were embarrassed about, it was a nice enough place and Tezz soon had what he needed, helped on his way by the overly friendly clerk, Bambi.

Tezz knew Bambi was flirting with him, but he tried to ignore her. The bubbly blonde only served to remind him of what he had driven away. He missed AJ's smile, his laughter, and that wolfish look in his eyes whenever he and Tezz were alone. He just had to get his Canadian back.

On a whim, he made one last stop at Hummingbird Floristry; there was no harm in hedging his bets.


	8. Apology Accepted

A/N: Okay, this is it! The end! The final resolution of Tezz and AJ's epic lovestory! I agonized and agonized over this, trying to get it just right, but I think I only managed to make it okay. I hope, as always, that the lemony goodness isn't too shoehorned in there. The song used here is a piece of cowboy rock, **"Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy"** by Big and Rich. Eeeeeeeee, I really hope this isn't terrible...

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, I walk into the room<br>Passing out hundred dollar bills  
>And it kills and it thrills like the horns on my Silverado grill<br>And I buy the bar a double round of crown  
>And everybody's getting down<br>An' this town ain't never gonna be the same.**_

_**And I saddle up my horse and I ride into the city  
>I make a lot of noise 'cause the girls, they are so pretty<br>Riding up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy  
>And the girls say, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"<br>Everybody says "Save a horse, Ride a cowboy!"**_

AJ did not usually snowboard with his earbuds in, but he needed to distract himself from the issues at hand. He needed to forget and move on so he could return to his friends. Yes, he was angry—far angrier than he had been in a good long time, but much greater than his anger was his pain. It hurt too much to think that he had screwed up yet another relationship, to know that he had allowed himself to be strung along by this artless, oblivious Russian. Tezz may have been considered a genius but he was like a child when it came to love. AJ should have been able to anticipate his every move. He had actually believed that heartless bastard could love him—he had been such a fool!

_**Well I don't give a dang about nothing  
>I'm singing and Bling- Blanging<br>While the girls are drinking long necks down!  
>And I wouldn't trade ol' Leroy<br>Or my Chevrolet for your Escalade or your freak parade  
>I'm the only John Wayne left in this town<strong>_

No. The very real possibility of death forced AJ to focus on the snowy mountain, and he launched himself over a dune, spinning in midair. The music pumped into his ears, pumping him back up and readying him for another run.

"_**Well, I'm a thoroughbred."  
>That's what she said in the back of my truck bed<br>As I was gettin' buzzed on suds out on some back country road  
>We were flyin' high, fine as wine<br>Having ourselves a Big and Rich time  
>An' I was going just about as far as she'd let me go<strong>_

_**But her evaluation of my cowboy reputation  
>Had me beggin' for salvation all night long<br>So I took her out gigging frogs  
>Introduced her to my old bird dog<br>An' sang her every Willie Nelson song I could think of  
>An' we made love!<strong>_

'_Go big or go home,'_ he reminded himself. And AJ knew he could not go back to the hub just yet.

_**And I saddle up my horse and I ride into the city  
>I make a lot of noise 'cause the girls, they are so pretty<br>Riding up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy  
>And the girls say, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"<br>Everybody says "Save a horse, Ride a cowboy!"**_

AJ wiped out, his concentration failing. He had worn his helmet and was lucky enough not to have hit a tree, so he was relatively unharmed. Still, the Canadian had been on the slopes for hours and it was about time to pack it in. He turned off his iPod as he trudged back to the lodge, muscles burning in that old familiar way. The air was colder and more pleasant than he had felt in far too long, the chill wind blowing over his face as he removed his helmet. The snow caked in his hair, and he imagined he could pass for a yeti. He was Ajacca from the planet Kashyyyk, off to help Han Solo pilot the Millennium Falcon and assist the Rebel Alliance.

As he tramped through the snow making Wookie noises to amuse himself, AJ could almost forget about his messed up, awkward social life. At least he would have Vert to count on as a friend in these trying times. Spinner would probably make a myriad of tasteless jokes, but he would do his best to cheer the Platinum blonde. Agura would probably be pretty cool about his and Tezz's issues, not taking sides. The reactions of the rest of the team, however, he could not predict. Tezz, of course, was the biggest problem.

But they had a world to save, and AJ had made a promise. He would have to go back eventually, whether he liked it or not. He would have to figure out how to handle Tezz.

AJ blinked; he _seriously_ needed to come up with a game plan for that.

'_Like, right now.'_

The Splitwire was gathering snow in the driveway. Tezz was at the lodge.

AJ put his palm to his forehead. Oh, this was going to be awkward as _hell._ The Canadian steeled himself for the worst scenarios he could fathom, from Tezz coming to gloat about using AJ from the beginning, to the possibility that he had come to kill AJ. What he was not prepared for was soft candlelight and Patsy Cline on the stereo. There was a vase full of white roses on the table along with takeout from Lucky Panda Chinese in Totem Corners, still fresh. AJ was so taken aback that he hardly registered the frightened and unusually timid look on Tezz's face. The genius nervously offered a heart-shaped candy box, which, though unsure, AJ tentatively accepted.

"Tezz," he said when he finally regained his senses. "What is all this? What are you doing here?"

"AJ, please give me another chance."

The Canadian sighed. "Another chance at what, Tezz? What we had wasn't even real. It never was."

"Just hear me out," he begged. "It is true things began that way, but I did not comprehend what our relationship would become. I did not realize that I would feel so strongly. Everything changed so quickly... I love you, AJ. Please come home."

The platinum blonde crossed his arms. "You really hurt me, Tezz. I don't know if I can forgive you."

"I regret this more than you can imagine!" Tezz insisted, taking hold of the larger man's shoulders. "I was a jealous bastard. I was so scared of losing you I did not realize I was driving you away! I wanted you to be mine only, and I was going to tell you so—"

The Canadian shook free of his grip and grabbed the frightened genius by the wrists. He held him there, glaring into his frightened eyes and trying to keep his anger in check. "So why didn't you say anything then?" AJ snapped.

"AJ, you are hurting me…"

"You don't think it's maybe a little late to be telling me all this? I wasn't going to wait for you forever!"

"I was going to tell you I loved you," Tezz quietly replied. "But I decided to wait when I found you talking to the captain. I wanted to be sure you would not see anyone else behind my back."

AJ relaxed his grip. He had screwed things up by second guessing himself and going after someone he had no chance with when Tezz had loved him all along. "If I had known you felt that way, I would've just left Vert alone. It was stupid, but I guess I never got over him, you know?"

"Your judgment was clouded by your emotions. The same thing happened to me. I could not bear the thought of you leaving me for the captain. I was so relieved when he insisted you be only friends." Tezz's eyes darkened and his next words came out in a growl. "But when you and Simon began bantering back and forth I gave in to my anger!"

"We wouldn't have been so frantic to come up with a plausible excuse," AJ pointed out dryly, "If you hadn't teased him with all your porno knowledge."

"I know," Tezz relented. "It was ridiculous posturing. I wanted to scare Simon into submission, to show him we were together and warn him not to make a move. As 'Ian Westminster' he hinted in several DVD commentaries that he had genuine feelings for you."

"That's just for show."

"Yes, but his acting back then was _terrible._ He would have to mean it to sound convincing." He sighed. "Still, my reaction was ill advised. I am sorry I behaved so foolishly."

"What about Mrs. Robinson?" AJ coolly demanded. "You can't immediately jump to violence like that, Tezz. Especially with civilians." Even a nice Canadian boy had his limits. AJ cared very deeply about Tezz, but the raven-haired young man needed to own up to his actions if he were to ever improve.

"I-I did not mean for things to go so far," he stammered, hanging his head in shame. "You said you loved her. That is the only explanation I have for taking such complete leave of my senses! I was insane! I can't believe I tried to—" He stopped, sobbing abruptly.

When Tezz looked at AJ again his eyes were shining with tears. "I understand if you do not forgive me, AJ. I'm a terrible person and you are within your rights. But I love you and I want you to be happy and I can't allow you to abandon your friends or your mission just because you hate me. Please, come back to the hub! Please!"

AJ's eyes softened. "I could never hate you, Tezz," he said. "You're only human. Even a genius like you is bound to make mistakes." He held the Russian, letting him cry into his chest.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Tezz asked between sobs.

"I forgive you, Tezz." He kissed the top of the genius's head. "Come on, the food's getting cold. Nice collar, by the way."

Tezz gave a small smile as they sat down to eat, his fingertips brushing over the black leather. "I am glad you like it. I obtained it at the One-Horned Stag in Totem Corners, along with some…_other_ accoutrements."

AJ raised an eyebrow, grinned and laughed. "One-Horned Stag? Isn't that a sex shop? You naughty boy, did you have any interesting plans for tonight?"

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaybe," Tezz teased. He blushed. "I suppose I was a little too hopeful to think you would take me back?"

AJ smiled. "Let's start with dinner and see where it goes from there." He piled his plate high with vegetable lo mein and sesame chicken. "It really means a lot that you came up here to apologize. I think it's really sweet of you."

"It was only right," the Russian humbly replied. "I was horrible to you. Irrational, illogical, cruel…"

"It's okay, Tezz. Really." AJ gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "As long as you've apologized to everyone else, too, I can totally get over this."

The ebony-haired young man almost protested this new development, but thought better of it at the pointed glare he received, proving he really was a genius. He popped a piece of sweet and sour pork into his mouth to give himself a moment to recover.

"Well?" AJ asked expectantly, one eyebrow raised. "You _did_ apologize to Mrs. Robinson, right? I mean, you tried to kill her."

Tezz swallowed and made a sheepish admission. "Not as of yet, no. Perhaps I should send her a fruit basket. I'm sure she has no desire to see me after what happened."

He nodded in approval. "That's very thoughtful of you. I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture."

Tezz contemplated his plate, choosing next a piece of sesame chicken which AJ highly recommended. AJ himself seemed to be rather enjoying an eggroll—innocently enough, but seeing the phallic shape enter AJ's mouth made the genius rather uncomfortable.

"AJ…I have expressed my love for you." He paused, unsure. "Do…do you…?"

The Canadian dabbed a napkin at his mouth, surprisingly delicately for such a large and usually boisterous man. "I love you, Tezz, I really do. But I'm not sure things can work out between us. A relationship needs to be built on trust and we just don't seem to have that going for us."

"I trust you! I trust you with my life! How can you doubt that after all the battles we have been through?"

"But you didn't trust me around Mrs. Robinson or Simon. Hell, you didn't even trust me around Vert, and he's, like, a paragon of virtue and stuff!"

"I can trust you if you say you love me and promise to be mine! Please, AJ, give me another chance!"

"I love you, Tezz, and I want to be with you," AJ said tenderly. "We can try again. But I need you to show me you trust me."

Tezz got up from the table and walked away.

AJ poked sadly at his lo mein, thinking that was the end. How silly to give up over something so small. But AJ was surprised again when the leather handle of a chain leash was placed lovingly in his hand. Tezz climbed into AJ's lap with his hands behind his back, and the Canadian heard a clicking noise.

"I trust you completely, Master," he said, nuzzling against AJ's chest. "I trust you with my life. I trust you with my heart and my soul. I am yours…to do with as you will."

His face flushed, the platinum blonde could only melt at this declaration. Tezz leaned in for a kiss. AJ pulled him close, grabbing everywhere, afraid to let go. "I love you," he gasped as he came up for air, only to pull Tezz's head back and lick his neck. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"More than anything!" Tezz proclaimed. "I want to belong to you!"

AJ snickered, making his lover blush.

"What is so funny?" the lithe teen demanded.

"I knew you were kinky when you asked about mask play," he beamed, remembering the day Tezz had requested his industry contacts. "Is that what you want, huh? You sure you want me to dominate you?"

"I've been so naughty," Tezz purred. "I need to be punished. Have pity on me, Master…"

AJ pulled his teammate into a bridal carry and they went to the bedroom. As soon as they were over the threshold, AJ locked the door and peeled off his own shirt before unbuttoning that of his lover. They kicked off their shoes, getting comfortable on the bed, and AJ held Tezz close as if he never wanted to let him go. He breathed deeply the scent of Tezz's shampoo and sweat, clutching his silken locks and pulling his head back to expose his tender throat again. He kissed and suckled at the young man who lay helplessly moaning beneath him, reveling in the way Tezz arched his back and cried out as teeth sank into the flesh between his neck and shoulder. The Canadian wished Tezz had thought to remove his shirt before handcuffing himself, but he dealt with it, pulling the blue oxford out of the way and pushing the striped undershirt up to his chin. He ran his hands over Tezz's tense body, kneading the lean muscles and teasing the poor genius. With a placid smile AJ moved his mouth to Tezz's nipple and let his hands roam lower, groping his lover's backside.

Tezz rocked his hips back and forth, wanting, needing, and_ aching_ to be touched. He whimpered, completely at AJ's mercy and loving every minute of it as the platinum blonde teasingly stroked his thighs. The smoldering look in his eyes, like a bored cat playing with a captive mouse, drove the Russian half-crazy while he neglectfully massaged, rubbed him as if it were an afterthought, _mocking_ him with that yummy little smirk as his hands moved closer and closer.

"Oh, come on!" Tezz growled in frustration.

AJ grinned a little wider and yanked him closer by his leash. "Say please."

"P-please!" he forced out, his cheeks turning pink. With a gentle shrug, AJ's left hand moved further up, completely bypassing his belt and palming his abs, his chest. Tezz whined at the twisting of his nipple, craning to kiss the Canadian's throat. He strained against the handcuffs, reveling in the lack of control, the deliciously terrifying feeling of completely giving himself over to someone else. He whined and struggled, trying to get as much skin contact as he could.

"What's wrong, Tezz?" AJ asked, but the Russian shook his head furtively. He chuckled. "It's okay, don't be embarrassed. What is it? Did you forget the safe word?"

Of course, Tezz remembered that the safe word was 'cupcakes,' but no matter how these dominance and submission games turned him on he did not think he could bring himself to beg for what he really wanted. Too afraid was he to cry out to be pounced on, bitten, or spanked, no matter how he wanted it. Not when just bringing out the cuffs and collar had been an exercise in humility.

AJ smiled smugly and leaned in more closely. "What aren't you telling Master?" he whispered. "You know it isn't nice to keep secrets. If you don't tell me, I'm going to have to punish you…"

Tezz bit down on his lower lip, looking off to the side, but said nothing. He tried desperately not to show how much he craved exactly what AJ was threatening him with. After a moment, the Canadian's patience wore thin, and he threw Tezz over his lap. The raven-haired young man yelped as his jeans were yanked abruptly down so that he was now bare to the knees, his hands still cuffed behind his back. As his heart pounded he was increasingly aware of how his erection was held firmly between AJ's thighs.

AJ gently caressed his little love slave's backside. "Are you suuuuuure you don't want to tell me what's on your mind?" he asked, winding up. When Tezz gave no response, his hand came slapping down.

Tezz arched his back, his hips bucking against the man who held him, but pushed his behind further towards AJ's hand. He heard a low, rumbling chuckle, and felt his face flush. He cried out as the hand came down again and again.

"I have you now, my pretty," AJ spouted in an overly dramatic, villainous tone that would have made the Russian laugh if he weren't so busy enjoying himself. "You really should have listened to Master."

"Bite me!"

AJ spanked especially hard for that, somewhat annoyed, though he tried to remind himself that sometimes submissive types feigned defiance to get their master to tighten the leash. "That's not a very nice thing to say," he growled, and slapped even harder.

"Bite me!" Tezz gasped out again, rubbing his hips into AJ's lap in desperation. "Bite me, AJ! Sink your teeth into my bones! Hit me harder! HARDER! Oh, please, Master, I deserve to punished! I've been a bad, BAD boy!"

AJ brought his hand down more gently, caressing the still red rear end of his teammate and causing him to moan. Tezz had _said_ he was interested in fetish play, but until now, the Canadian had doubted he knew what he was getting into. Obviously, he had been incorrect and Tezz was _really_ turned on by getting spanked and bossed around. Though, he supposed, everyone had their kinks. He reached his hands down under the Russian's torso, fondling his still shaking form, scratching at his skin, and finally brought him up so his back was to AJ's chest. He nuzzled at the back of Tezz's neck, licking behind his ear, and bit down onto the muscle between his neck and shoulder. Tezz groaned, arching his back, his throbbing sex still unattended and wanting.

"Say my name!" AJ demanded. Tezz only managed an incoherent whimper, and a hand was brought down once more on his tender buttocks. Usually the Canadian was not interested in bondage, but seeing Tezz enjoy himself so much gave him butterflies. He tried to ignore how cute the Russian looked as he begged to be abused, he worried that he might hurt the slender young man, but for the life of him _he could not stop._ Every cry was a love song; every scream was a symphony. It terrified AJ to think he could enjoy _this_ but Tezz just kept getting more and more aroused and the platinum blonde was going crazy watching him.

"I said, what's my name, bitch?" he growled, gripping Tezz's quivering member.

"AJ!" he gasped, his hips bucking. Finally, he was getting what he needed, and every agonizing moment of waiting had been worth it. He reeled from the contact, the power he lacked, and the safety of belonging to another. The Russian writhed in pleasure as AJ stroked his shaft, his hips rocking gently to the rhythm. He murmured and gasped, whining softly, begging for everything, anything, begging for release. "Oh, AJ, please! Take me! Take me, now!"

"You sure that's how you want it, Tezz? I could take off the handcuffs, we could play around a bit more—"

"I can't wait! AH! I neeeeeed you, AJ, pleeeeeeease, aaaahh—!"

AJ slowed and finally stopped stroking Tezz, much to his protest, and took a cursory glance around the room. With the handcuffs still on, laying Tezz on his back would be uncomfortable, but the desk was too cluttered to bend him over, and he would be unable to support himself were he on his knees and mounted from behind. Thinking quickly, AJ wound the leash around his hand to keep the hot-blooded Russian close.

Tezz grumbled impatiently, only quieting down when AJ affectionately touched his cheek.

"Just a sec, honey," he said, fishing a condom and some lube from the top drawer of the nightstand. With hurried motions he finished undressing the still prone genius, who squirmed and whined as he was primed for action. "Does it hurt?"

"No, you're quite gentle," Tezz assured him. "But that Astroglide's really cold!"

"I think I can warm you back up again," AJ purred. He dragged Tezz in for a deep, passionate kiss, rolling over and pulling him so he was straddling the Canadian's hips. Tezz moaned, wriggling on top of his teammate's muscular body, and felt the impressive erection that rubbed against his backside.

"Please, AJ, I am losing my sanity!"

Slowly, annoyingly slowly, he entered the master of magnetism. Tezz gasped, shutting his eyes tight and moving his hips to get comfortable. Just as before, AJ was burning hot inside of him, a feeling so wonderful and new even the second time. For someone who so loved the cold, delicious heat came off of him in waves, moving up into Tezz's core, making him moan and strive for deeper penetration.

AJ bit his lip, murmuring sweetly as he continued to rock into his lover, relishing in the feel of the tightness, the way he writhed on top of him, every sound he made. He wondered momentarily, had they really gone from 'friends with benefits' to lovers? It seemed inconsequential, however, as he stared into Tezz's wild, wanton eyes and saw how greedy he was to have the Canadian as his and only his. Something about that made AJ's heart flutter and he moved to hold one of the still restrained hands in his own. He let his left hand continue to wander, teasing and pleasing the untamed Russian.

Strong, deft fingers played with Tezz's nipple, twisting in a gentle way, and he groaned in frustration. "Harder, dammit!" he demanded, quickening his pace. He supposed there was a time and a place for slow, sweet, lovemaking, but right now he wanted it fast and dirty! The raven-haired young man was hot and tight and in need of a good hard fuck! What about that was so hard to understand? But when he felt fingers interlace with his own, he blushed. It was a simple, innocuous act, but intimate; something that couples did. He had not felt embarrassed to have the platinum blonde's hot, throbbing cock inside of him, but now his heart pounded in his chest. Somehow, the evening seemed more special; somehow, his soul soared to see the tender look in AJ's pale eyes. He fastened his gaze with AJ's, unable to look away, trying not to blink; how had he not noticed how beautiful AJ was when in the throes of passion? Moans began escaping his lips louder and more frequently, transfixed as he was by the wondrous sight of AJ's handsome face panting with pleasure.

"Mine!" he hissed, leaning down to lock lips with the Canadian, eagerly exploring every crevice with his tongue, an ardent kiss that was passionately returned. Powerful, well-built arms wrapped around his shoulders, frantically holding him in a loving embrace. He heard a surprisingly meek whimper from his large and lovely partner, and Tezz's heart melted.

There was no doubt now that the Russian was hooked, and that thought, knowing that Tezz would want only him, sent AJ over the edge. With several husky, guttural moans, the platinum blonde's hips bucked faster, slamming roughly up into Tezz. For his part the genius yelped, but immediately spread his legs a little wider, wanting to take in all he could, his cries taking on a higher pitch. He felt a sudden heat flood his core as AJ suckled and moaned at his neck, and he knew he had been claimed. He thrilled to feel the platinum blonde's love fill him, and with a final shout he spilled his seed onto AJ's stomach, panting as his motion slowed. Tezz lay down, exhausted but happy.

AJ sighed contentedly, absently running a hand over his lover's still form. It had been far too long since he had seen genuine desire light up someone's face, and Tezz had practically _glowed._ One would assume a person so logical would be a cold fish in bed, but Tezz was as wild as anyone he'd ever known. Maybe there really was more to the 'experiment' than he let on, though AJ knew he had to tread lightly lest he wind up with a broken heart. He still was unsure whether Tezz truly loved him or not, but there was more than a passion for scientific discovery in the genius's eyes, that much was certain. Suddenly, the Canadian found himself chuckling.

"What?"

"You, um…you're lying on top of me, in the sticky bits. It kinda tickles when you move."

"Don't care," Tezz murmured, and snuggled into the platinum blondes' copious chest hair to sleep. Right about then, some things seemed a lot less important than cuddling the Canadian he loved.


	9. Epilogue

A/N: EPILOGUE! W00T! The END, my friends! I know it sounds a little cliff-hanger-y, but let me tell you that everyone just accepts AJ for who he is, shocking past and all. OH! And as for the mention of Grace's cousin from Boston? Faith Lehane from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I decided my stories' timeline goes JOHNNY MONTROSE chapters 1-8, then the first chapter of Gaining Faith, then the JOHNNY epilogue, then the rest of Gaining Faith, the No More Mr. Nice Guy, then Dysfunctional Family Values, Missing Mom, then Spinner's Day Out, Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Cop? In that order. So far. ...We'll see.

* * *

><p>Vert had worried they would not return. He thought that ship had sailed, that the pair could not be reconciled. Their shouts had echoed through the secret underground base. They were jealous; they disagreed. They had even gotten in trouble with the law. No relationship should have been able to survive the hurtful things that had been said.<p>

Vert had never been so happy or relieved to be proven wrong.

Tezz had ridden with AJ in the Gear Slammer, his lover towing the Split Wire behind them. The two would not be separated.

For all that had passed between them, for every slight forgiven, they had become stronger. AJ and Tezz officially came out as a couple. When asked, AJ claimed that Mrs. Robinson had only been his sugar mama and he had never been in porn, and Tezz promised to keep the secret of his former career between them. Tezz learned that openness, honesty and communication were the tools that maintained a relationship, but some things were best kept private. It was a fascinating dynamic, and one he wished to know more about.

He had all he needed to complete his current logs and this experiment was over, though his life with AJ was only just beginning. And one day about three months later, not long after they met Grace's cousin from Boston, things got a little crazy…

* * *

><p>Spinner Cortez scowled at his teammates gathered in the control room, Sage watching the exchange with a mix of conviction and amusement.<p>

"You no doubt wonder why I've called this meeting," the gamer stated, setting his jaw. "Well, over the course of the past year, as I worked on various tracking programs and surveillance systems, I've come across the disturbing fact that you're all leaving porn out in the open. –Oh, don't you gasp at me like you have no idea what I'm talking about! Each and every one of you! Like, seriously, you couldn't be bothered to take it off the main part of the system, into your private user accounts? I have to keep seeing this stuff when I'm trying to work! Thank _God_ I've developed some seriously badass antivirus programs, or the hub would be malfunctioning all over the place!"

"Has it seriously caused that many problems?" Vert asked incredulously, blushing slightly as he looked around at his equally embarrassed and worried teammates.

Spinner shook his head. "Not yet," he said. "But I want this to stop. I'm sick and tired of coming across some video of an orgy every time I go to clean out the registry. And if you guys want to keep your smut, you move it into your private accounts, _tonight._ You forget anything, even accidentally, and I will start naming names. So help me, I will type up a list of all the nastiest kinks and fetishes you guys—and girl!—are into and I will put copies of it on every bulletin board in town."

Agura chuckled nervously. "C'mon, Spin, that's kinda harsh. I mean, you wouldn't really do that… Would you?"

"Try me," Spinner said, taking out his Android Tablet ("Because fuck the Macintosh Operating System, that's why," he would always tell them, prejudiced gamer that he was.) With a twitch of his fingers, the main screen in the control room flooded with color and light. The footage that greeted his teammates was some manner of close up, too close to yet make out just what was going on until they caught a flash of nipple, and the sounds that accompanied the video were enraptured wheezes and groans.

"I picked something at random from one of the naughty folders I want done away with. This one's called—" And here he paused, looking down at his tablet. "—_'Johnny Cum Lately' _and the file's statistics say it's been watched sixty seven times on the network in the past three months. Sounds like somebody has a favorite. Do I have to say who that someone is…?"

Tezz and AJ glanced at each other. _'Johnny Cum Lately'_ was one of AJ's last films, about a college student who shows up late to a lecture and is asked to see the professor after class. He winds up helping the teaching assistant and naughtiness ensues, of course. It was indeed one of Tezz's favorites, and now it was on the screen to be shared with his friends. Spinner's sudden moral shift was not just dangerous to Tezz, whose collection of pornography had swiftly grown into the terabytes before he finally was able to win AJ over, but also to AJ, who was actually starring in most of it. One false move, and the Canadian's secret was out.

"O-okay, Spin, buddy. You proved your point, just turn it off."

Spinner raised an eyebrow. "Something you wanna tell us, AJ?"

AJ grew more frantic and raised his voice, straining to speak over the impassioned cries coming from the movie. "Spinner, please, you're going to embarrass and hurt your friends! Just—"

"_Ooh, augh, ungh! JOHNNY! YES, RIGHT THERE, JOHNNNYYYYYYYYY!"_

"_Ooooh, IAAAAAAANNNNN!"_

AJ turned bright red and closed his eyes; he did not need to look at the screen to know what was happening in the film. Onscreen, Johnny Montrose gripped the desperately mewling redhead's hips, moaning and groaning as he thrust deeply into his costar, spilling his seed inside of him. Ian bucked his hips, working himself harder on his partner's member as he climaxed onto his chest. AJ knew what was happening in this scene because he had been there. He knew because he had participated. AJ Dalton and Johnny Montrose were one and the same, and now all of the Canadian's friends would know the awful truth of his dual identity.

Stanford sputtered in confusion, swaying on his feet. "Y-you… You fucked my brother!" he exclaimed, and with that little outburst, Stanford fainted dead away, because no one should have to see a blood relative in such a compromising position.

AJ's teammates gaped at him in shock, alternately looking at the Canadian or looking back to the movie, which a stunned Spinner had left running. Sherman went off in the corner to sulk, feeling suddenly very inadequate in the face of AJ's massive equipment. Zoom scratched his head, wondering just what the hell this all meant. And finally, the team's huntress broke the silence.

"So," Agura asked, blushing and grinning. "Is that actual size or did they have to use a prosthesis?"

AJ's face grew and even deeper shade of red, but he calmed at Tezz's arm around him. "That's _all_ him," the Russian insisted, kissing his lover on the cheek.

Vert shook his head. "AJ…buddy…"

AJ smiled sheepishly, turning shyly away. His secret was out and all eyes were upon him. No doubt his friends were looking for an explanation…

AJ bit his lower lip in a charming and seductive sort of way, his eyelids lowered in bashfulness. "Would you believe I was young and needed the money?"


End file.
